Monday, November 26, 2012

MY ANNUAL CHRISTMAS MUZAK RANT

About this time each year, I post my usual rant about - you guessed it - all those little ditties that the music industry of today passes off as Christmas music.  Very little of it good.  Lots of it garbage.  My other pet peeve that many have read about from CV - the BLOG! is those radio stations who play Christmas music and muzak (mostly muzak) 24/7 starting six weeks before Christmas.  Think about it.  During the 12:00 hour you get "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" in the mix.  At 1:00 you get someone else's "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and an "O Holy Night".  About ten past two, someone else's "O Holy Night", then at three, a third rendition of "Rudolph".  Do you get what I speak?

Anyhoo, Instead of posting a Schei├če-Liste or a Top 10 Worst List, let's just explore certain pieces.  There are some versions of some songs I don't mind - in many cases, the only version of said songs I'll tolerate.  Yes, most of these are secular, because you hardly hear any sacred versions on pop radio, and the ones that are sacred are usually thrashed by the "artists" singing them.

Let's see.....This portion is mostly positive!

Blue Christmas - Elvis only!
White Christmas - The Drifters only!
Jingle Bell Rock - Bobby Helms or Hall and Oates, both fine
Sleigh Ride - orchestral arrangement only (the way Leroy Anderson intended, made popular by the Boston Pops).  I know the lyrics, but for some reason I could only find ONE sung version with the original Anderson arrangement.  All the other sung versions I've heard are way too tacky for my liking.
The Twelve Days of Christmas - almost anything.  The Chipmunks and Muppets have the coolest versions on the air, as does Straight No Chaser (Bear-i-tone just reminded me of them!  I had totally forgotten!).  On record, this version I mentioned last year from the Firestone records of the 1960's, and one by Tennessee Ernie Ford (he has a really cool basso profundo!).  I also have high appreciation for the "Redneck Twelve Days" and Bob Rivers' "The Twelve Pains of Christmas".  The one I avoid at all costs: the rendition by Ray Conniff.
Feliz Navidad - Jose Feliciano only!  (Celine Dion KILLS it!)
Do You Hear What I Hear - I'm not a big Jim Nabors fan (in terms of his singing - I liked him as Gomer Pyle, though), but his big bass rendition fits it nicely, I have to admit.  The version I avoid like the plague: the one by Whitney Houston.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - any of the versions from those old cartoons we watched as kids are always cool.  Autry and Ives have this tune mastered.  As for versions recorded in the last decade or so, the honor has to go to Ringo Starr.  The two I avoid are: 1) the jerk who sings "Rudy the red-nosed reindeer" every other line (his name eludes me at the moment, and hopefully will for ever) and 2) the version Billy Gilman sang before puberty.  Even before the voice change, he sounded more like a girl than a boy!
Silver Bells - Larry the Cable Guy's parody only (I won't post it here)!
Santa Claus is Comin' to Town - The Beach Boys arrangement is killer!  The Ames Brothers has a cool jazz version.  Also, Larry the Cable Guy's parody (You'd better watch out.  I think she's a guy.  I ain't quite sure, but somethin' ain't right... Hillary Clinton's comin' to town!)  The ones I avoid: "SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTA Claus is comin' to town!   SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTA Claus is comin' to town!"  This one is mainly done by Motown artists, and by Bruce Springsteen.
All I Want for Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey solo only!  Not the "duet" with Justine Bieber.  Heard that once last year.  It's not a new version either.  Just some of Mariah's vocal tracks got replaced by Miz Bieber's vocal tracks.  It's horrible!  Bieber cannot sing.  She is tone deaf!
'Twas the Night before Christmas - Only non-parody rendition I like is that written by Ken Darby, arranged for choir by Harry Simeone.  It is really fun to listen to, even for the most serious of musicians.  Watch this rendition below as performed by the combined choirs of the University of Utah.



As for the rest of the negatives:  Click here for my Schei├če-Liste.  I will add:
O Holy Night (or ANYTHING by Josh Groban).  His voice, in this snark's opinion, is depressing.
ANYTHING by Johnny Mathis!
ANYTHING by Josh Groban!

Oh, and an act I do NOT want to see anytime soon: Santa Baby by Honey Boo Boo!  (My wife and I both loathe that song as it is!) That said, I must also remind the common citizen that the Holyday that falls on XII-25 is called "Christmas" and not merely "Holiday".  Governor Gump got his WTF award this time last year for the lighting of his "Holiday Tree".  I have yet to put up a tree on the Fourth of July, but if I do, I will decorate it with live fireworks and ammo.  Bring matches, friends!   I still remember the time last year when a cashier at Christmas Tree Shops in North Attleborough, Massachusetts, told my wife and me to "Have a nice holiday."  I asked her, "Which one?"  The name of the store says CHRISTMAS!  Doesn't this damn cashier have any common sense?  Apparently not!

I'll be looking forward to the classical stations' and their truly joyful renditions of Christmas works by the Masters, when that time comes!  In the meantime, Advent is drawing near.  I can't wait till I can pull out the "Veni, Veni, Emmanuel".

Peace and joy!
BMP

THIS INSTALLMENT OF THE CHRISTUS VINCIT WTF AWARDS...

...is brought to you by Jamie Foxx's "lord and savior", Barack Obama!

Except we won't be handing Obama the November 2012 WTF Award (although he really is deserving of one for many things).  Instead... (drum roll please!)

Let me introduce to you, Jamie Foxx.  At the Soul Train awards on the BET (Black Entertainment Television, for those who don't have cable or dish) channel, the actor/comedian Foxx (no relation to Redd Foxx, btw) declared pro-abortion, pro-communist, pro-culture of death President Barack Obama as "our Lord and Savior".

Now, let me clarify a few things:

1. We have no Lord, no Savior, no King, no Messiah, except for the one, the only, Jesus Christ!

2. Foxx is in violation of the very first of the Ten Commandments, given to us via Moses by Almighty God, the Father of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  This first Commandment states thus:
-- "I am the Lord thy God, who brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt not have strange gods before me.  Thou shalt not make to thyself a graven thing, nor the likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or in the earth beneath, nor of those things that are in the waters under the earth.  Thou shalt not adore them, nor serve them: I am the Lord thy God, mighty, jealous, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me..." (Exodus 20: 2-5, Douay-Rheims Bible)

3. If my memory of religion class in Catholic grade school serves me correctly, violation of said first Commandment is a MORTAL sin.

4. My God (the same God who handed down said Ten Commandments) has a bigger backbone than Foxx's god. (Note the difference in the capital "G" and the small "g".)

5. Consider this parody of an old Ken-L-Ration dog food commercial, now transformed into a lesson from me to Jamie Foxx:
-- "My God's better than your god.  My God's better than yours.
My God's better 'cause he made all creation.  My God's better than yours.

6. Our TRUE Lord and Savior Jesus Christ would never support abortion, nor any other sin for that matter!

Therefore, Mr. Foxx, appearing on the Soul Train awards and having already won an Oscar, it is my pleasure to present to you the Christus Vincit - the BLOG! WTF AWARD for November 2012.  Have fun trying to find inner peace with your lord and savior.  In the meantime, I've found my inner peace with my Lord and Savior.




Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum!
BMP

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I HAVE A QUESTION FOR MIZ AHLQUIST

I have a question for local teen celebrity atheist Jessica Ahlquist.  You know, the Jessica Ahlquist who got the ACLU and that Freedom From Religion Foundation to come to Rhode Island and raise hell at Cranston West High School over a banner that hung at the school for a half a century that had a prayer for the school that was written by one of their alumni.  Yeah.  I read on a Facebook post from a local radio talk-show host that she was coming on a broom.  I'm thinking, "well maybe she's one of those modern witches who flies the vacuum cleaner".  But no - she can't be a witch.  Witches actually worship something.  Miz Ahlquist worships nothing.

Anyhoo, here's the question I have for Miz Ahlquist:

What do you have to be thankful for this Thanksgiving?  Or better, Do you have anything at all to be thankful for this Thanksgiving?  Did you ever thank God that you're an atheist?  If you don't have God, then who can you be thankful to?  The ACLU?  The Freedom From Religion Foundation or whatever the hell it's called?  They can't possibly be God.  They're trying to stop people from doing His work, yes, but they can't be a supreme enough being to be thankful for.  They're only doing the devil's work, and the devil's only gonna screw you in the end.  So, what will it be, Jessica?  Think hard, while you're still young.

The peace of the Lord be with you always.
BMP

Thursday, November 15, 2012

CONCERT at SAINT WILLIAM'S

Saint William Church in Warwick, Rhode Island, featuring the parish choir, Pro Cantare (directed by Reuel Gifford) and the Rhode Island College Chamber Singers (directed by Teresa Coffman), held on Saturday, December 1, 6:30 PM, at Saint William Church, 200 Pettaconsett Avenue (off Post Road, US-1), Warwick, RI.  If you're in the area, come on down.  You will not be disappointed.

Peace,
BMP

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

THREE X'S, THREE I'S

Sunday XXXIII - XI-18-12
Sacred Heart Church, West Warwick, RI

Ordinary: Messa Populare "Laus Tibi Christe" (Federico Caudana)
Psalm 16: You are my inheritance, O Lord (Owen Alstott)
Alleluia from "Gelobt sei Gott" (verse of the day: Tone 8G)

H-484 Lift up your heads, ye mighty gates ("Truro")
H-5.2 Lo! he comes with clouds descending ("Helmsley")
H-3 Wake, awake, for night is flying ("Wachet Auf")
H-438.1 I need thee every hour ("Need")
H-11 The King shall come when morning dawns ("St. Stephen")

Peace,
BMP

Thursday, November 8, 2012

I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND LIKE A SORE LOSER

...but something really fishy has been going on the last couple of elections.

And the killer of it is, like most haunting creatures, they only come out at night!!!
I'm talking about mysterious, yet chronic, come-from-behind victories by candidates that aren't even fit to run an outhouse, let alone any kind of political office.

Let's rewind to 2010, the gubernatorial race in Rhode Island.  There were SEVEN guys - count'em - SEVEN that ran for Rhode Island Governor.  Republican incumbent Donald Carcieri had served his two-term limit, therefore, he could no longer run.  While Lincoln Chafee was a Senator, he left the Republican party (he always considered himself this "moderate" being) and became an Independent.  Some independent!  Some moderate!  He leans more left than even some of your wackiest Democrats, resulting in an endorsement by Barack Obama.
One of his opponents was Republican John Robitaille, who I voted for - he firmly believes in family, he is firmly pro-life, unlike Chafee, who is blatantly the opposite.
The Democratic candidate was Frank Caprio.  I was not thrilled that he was pro-abortion (sorry, I don't use the word "pro-choice" when it comes to a child that could be brought to this earth and is aborted just because some whore can't keep her legs closed and/or she can't get her man of the day to put on a rubber).  I did like the fact, however, that he was ballsy enough to tell Obama to take his endorsement and "really shove it as far as I'm concerned".
Four other candidates from "third parties" also ran.

The top three candidates ran rather closely for most of the night.  Robitaille (my choice) held the lead for most of the night.  In just minutes before it was all over, it was suddenly Chafee (pro-abortion, pro-family destruction, and pro-protection of murder suspects - namely one who killed people while robbing a bank in Woonsocket, referred to by many of us as "Governor Gump") who mysteriously won the election with only 36% of the vote.  Robitaille got 34%, and Caprio 23%.  Ken Block, a member of the "Moderate Party" got 6%, and the other three independents, less than 1% each.  With every goofy move Chafee makes, he should be reminded that 64% of Rhode Island voters voted against him.

Unfortunately, the David Cicilline win for United States Congress, RI District 1, was by a landslide.  Cicilline and Chafee share similar political views.  Barney Frank, MA District 4, also won by a landslide - unfortunately!  The bright side to the Barney Frank saga is that he kept his vow to step down after he completed the following term.

Let's go to the election that took place just this past Tuesday - yes, 6 November 2012!

For most of the evening, things were looking quite good for Brendan Doherty, a Republican who was running for the house seat occupied by Cicilline (referred to by many here as "Chick-a-chini").  For most of the evening he held the lead - until those last few minutes, when his lead started to mysteriously dwindle.
In the Massachusetts senate seat that was long occupied by Ted Kennedy, incumbent Scott Brown suffered a similar last minute come-from-behind fate by Democrat Elizabeth Warren, who, in her campaign commercials, FEARED that Roe vs. Wade could be overturned like if it was a bad thing.  Seriously, folks, if Roe vs. Wade was to be overturned tomorrow, I'd be happier than a pig in shit!
And of course, the God-rejecting, Allah-loving, communist leaning, Muslim Brotherhood supporting, pro-abortion, pro-family destruction, pro-overall culture of death, President of the United States, Barack (Saddam) Hussein Obama (bin Laden), who bows, kow-tows, and apologizes to other countries, and his Vice President, self-proclaimed Catholic Joe Biden, who denounces the teachings of his own Church on abortion and marriage.  His opponent, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney and his vice-presidential running mate Paul Ryan (who I voted for).  I'm afraid Mitt was kinda flip-floppy on his stance on abortion, but not blatantly pro-death as the Obama/Biden ticket.  Paul Ryan, a Catholic, is pro-life and pro-family.  I would have liked to see a Ryan/Romney ticket instead of Romney/Ryan, basically because Ryan seemed more solid.  But it is what it is.  As for the results - until about 11 PM EST, Romney still had a lead.  Not a huge lead, but a lead.  However, that too got changed in the last hours of polling counts.  Obama won by a landslide in Rhode Island, unfortunate for a state that is statistically 60+% Catholic.  Yet the culture of death prevailed once again!  WTF?

All these come-from-behind victories by the unfit can't be that coincidental, can it?  I wish I could prove foul play.  I'm sure there are people looking to do just that.  I think of all those Red Sox games blown in the ninth inning when Bobby Valentine would send Alfredo Aceves up to the mound to erase the Sox lead.


I'm not a sore loser.  But something just isn't right!

Peace,
BMP

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

XI-XI-XII (Dominica XXXII)

A primer on your Roman numerals, eh?  Well, here is the music we're doing at Sacred Heart for this Veteran's Day, that is, liturgically, the Thirty-Second Sunday of Ordered Time.

And just for you Roman Numeral buffs, I will list the hymn numbers in Roman Numerals.  You figure out the Arabic Numerals.  All the numbers are in Hymnal MCMXL (to our parishioners, that's "The Maroon Hymnal").  If you look these up in the "Index of First Lines" of said hymnal, you're cheating!  ;P

Mass Ordinary: Laus Tibi Christe (F. Caudana)
Psalm CXLVI (that's Psalm CXLV for you Vulgate fans): Praise the Lord, my soul (R. Rice)
Alleluia: from the hymn "Christ is the King" ("Gelobt sei Gott") (verse of the day: tone VIII-G)

Entrance: DXXXVII - Christ for the world, we sing ("Italian Hymn")
Offertory: CDXVIII - Blest are the pure in heart ("Franconia")
Communion: Be thou my vision (J.H. Desrocquettes; harm. BMP)
Meditation: CCXXIII - Jesus, Son of Mary ("Adoro Te"; Mode V)
Recessional: CXLIII - God of our fathers ("National Hymn")

Peace,
BMP