Friday, August 26, 2011

ALL THIS FOR A BATTERY!

A couple of nights ago, I took my daughter Brittany to her high school for freshman orientation. You can tell that Ann and I are becoming old farts when our fourth and final child is now entering high school. Anyhoo, that accomplished...

We go back to the van - dead battery, and I know I didn't leave anything on! Long story short, my brother Glen gave me a jump, followed me home in case the van dies on the way home. Successful ride home, but the battery would not hold a charge for all the tea in China. Shut van off - couldn't restart.

Today was the first chance I had to get my battery, so I hit the happy bus trail - ah yes, good old public transit and its sporadic schedules. First time I've taken a bus anywhere in about four years. Before I could buy a battery, I needed to have money. So, it's off to the church to get my paycheck. I hopped a 10:40 bus from the main drag near me, got to downtown Providence by about 11:20.

The next bus I needed to West Warwick from Providence wasn't due in till 12:30, so I went to grab a cheeseburger at the roach coach across the street. I no sooner get there and some guy's looking to buy jewelry off me. The only jewelry I wear is my watch and my wedding ring. The guy says "Hey buddy, got some jewelry ya wanna sell?" "No thanks, I'm good," I reply. "How about that wedding ring? Wanna sell that?" "Nope. Not for sale." "Are you sure? I got all the money you want!" he exclaims, and proceeds to open his wallet and display his wad of bills (could be all ones for all I know). I finally said, "Look man, I'm happily married! This ring isn't going ANYWHERE!" He apologized and backed off.

Got my chizz-burger (was quite good, I must say; I should have gotten the name on the roach coach, but it was well worth the deuce), and finally hopped the 12:30 bus to West Warwick. Got a return timetable off the driver. It was 1:00 when I got off the bus at the CVS right next door to the church. I looked at the return trip timetable - the next bus going back wasn't due to hit the CVS area till 2:05. Collected my paycheck, called my wife from the rectory, then went to the church since I had all this time to kill. Went up and practiced for about a half hour, chatted with the sacristan for about five minutes before I left. Back to the bus stop at about 1:50 in case the bus runs early (it ran ten minutes late instead).

Finally - by 5:00-ish (big stress on the "ish"), with some help from my wife and my son, we got the battery on and the van fired right up. Hopefully it stays that way!

Lesson for all you bus stop peddlers:

MY WEDDING RING IS NOT FOR SALE!

Peace,
BMP

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