Saturday, June 30, 2007


DOVER, N.H. - A man with a penchant for speedy driving has come up with an unusual tactic for beating speeding tickets — raise the limit. So far this year, Larry Lemay has been ticketed four times for speeding.
Rather than slow down, Lemay is suing the state Department of Transportation to study traffic and speed limits across New Hampshire, to see whether limits could be raised. Lemay's lawsuit, filed in Strafford County Superior Court, also asks a judge to order the Transportation Department to pay for his legal fees and the cost of the study, an estimated $1,853.
Lemay said he believes many speed limits are set intentionally low so the state can cash in on drivers.
"The state is making a lot of money doing this, and I want it stopped," he said. "It's wrong."
Dave Hilts, the assistant attorney general representing the state, said Lemay's view that higher speed limits would lead to safer driving is shared on the Internet by many speed limit abolitionists, but is misguided.
"Common sense will tell you that going too slow is only a hazard when other people are going much faster," said Hilts. "It's kind of a weird case."
As for Lemay's suggestion that the state sets low speed limits just to catch people with tickets:
"It seems ridiculous to me. I don't know what incentive the state would have to do that," Hilts said. "I've not seen any evidence that that occurs. I don't believe it."


This guy should really consider himself lucky. I've travelled New Hampshire with my family numerous times and must tell ya - most NH speed limits are quite reasonable. You want to see ridiculously low speed limits, come to Rhode Island! Most roads posted at 50 MPH in other states are usually posted 35 here. Most roads posted at 30-35 in nearby MA and NH (including city streets) are 25 here. And those few 50 MPH roads (one lane each direction) you see in RI - those are usually 55 in MA and NH, maybe 60-65 out west. You want to talk revenue-generating speed limits, come to Rhode Island. The city of Pawtucket alone makes a mint on speeding tickets and municipal services are still among the country's worst. Don't take my word for it. Come see for yourself. If he succeeds in NH (and I doubt he will), he needs to come to RI and do the same.

That's my political banter for the month.


Kudos to New England Cable News for this excellent news story! For once, someone from the secular media accurately reported on a Catholic matter, without that little "dig" that tries to brainwash the viewer/listener/reader the wrong way. Our cable provider used to carry this channel, but they stopped. In fact, they did away with almost all the Boston-based channels. :(

RSCT to Shawn at NLM.

OT 13, Harrisburger Dom

Prelude: Meditation No. 2 - David Barton

Entrance: Praise to the Lord, the Almighty (reharmonization, Rawsthorne)

Gloria: John Lee

Psalm: R and A

Celtic Alleluia

Offertory: Summons / KELVINGROVE

Sanctus, etc: Creation

Communion: Ubi Caritas - Hurd (love this more each time I use it)

Hymn: Sent Forth by God's Blessing / THE ASH GROVE

Postlude: Trumpet Tune in B-flat - Michael McCabe


Girls Softball Edition

Here's an update on my daughter's all-star softball team, as triggered by requests from this Christus Vincit ANYWHERE! Message Board thread.

Today, the Smithfield Firecracker Tournament started for Brittany's team, the 9- and 10-year olds for the Darlington Girls' All-Stars. Two games played tonight - two wins - WOOHOO!

Game 1: Darlington 13, North Kingstown White Team 1
(North Kingstown also has a Pink Team; Coventry has two teams also, red and blue)
Game 2: Darlington 28, Smithfield 14 (yeah, I know - four touchdowns to two LOL! and on Smithfield's home turf!)

As you can tell by the scores, it's slow pitch softball, not fast pitch, though Brittany will be playing fast pitch starting in August. Both games ended in five innings instead of the usual seven, due to a rule that ends a game in five innings if a team is leading by 12 runs or more.

Since this is a double elimination tourney and we're in the winner's bracket, we're in for AT LEAST two more games tomorrow.

UPDATE 6/30/07 7:16 PM: One win and one loss today while playing two different Cranston teams.

Game 1: Darlington 6, Cranston B team 3
Game 2: Cranston A team 12, Darlington 0

Again, this is double elimination. There is AT LEAST one game tomorrow. Our girls are guaranteed third place at this point. If we win the first game tomorrow morning (I have to work, but my wife will be there), we're guaranteed second place.

Go Brittany!!!

PS: Hey Nick, in a few years your blog posts might start looking like this... snark snark!

Thursday, June 28, 2007


Jeffrey Tucker at NLM found this (Arlington) Catholic Herald article. Man, is it ever easy to tell which big name union would endorse such bull$&!+ and write it off as "diversity". Diversity my @$$!

Mr. Tucker said it right when he said:
The problem is that this is contradicted at every point by the whole of Church teaching on music. Personally, I find it incredible that that a central mandate of the Second Vatican Council, so clearly stated in the conciliar documents, could be so easily passed over: namely, that Gregorian chant and polyphony are uniquely suited to Roman Rite worship. Paul VI reinforced this and mandated chant in strong terms. John Paul II further stated that the closer a piece of music approaches the sensibility of chant, the more appropriate it is. Benedict has said the same and more.
But instead of listening, we just sort of make things up as we go along, acting as if the choice of liturgical music is akin to the choice of which radio station we want to listen to.


Another new pic...

Found those 2 middle fingers, just like her Uncle Josh did when he was a baby.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


From Father Z:
The general publication is 7 July. Review the FIVE RULES.

Also, according to Fr. Z:
On Wednesday afternoon the Secretary of State, Tarcisio Card. Bertone gave the Motu Proprio to 30 bishops from around the world on Wednesday afternoon in the Apostolic Palace. The bishops were explicitly chosen and invited for this. (I am guessing that they were heads of Bishops Conferences.)

To achieve a successful Motu Mania, one must do only three things:
1) Pray,
2) Pray, and finally
3) Pray!


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

LeeAnna Elizabeth Basehore
arrived on Monday, June 25, at 11:22 pm EDT, via cesarean delivery at Penn State - Milton S. Hershey Medical Center, Hershey, PA. 9 lbs., 5.4 oz., 19.5 inches. Mommy and Daddy and all the families are doing just great. Projected homecoming is Thursday evening or Friday morning.

LeeAnna's name is a contraction of Nick's maternal grandmother's middle name (Patricia Lee) and paternal grandmother's first name (Anna Jane). Elizabeth is Alexis' middle name, her mother's middle name, and both grandmothers' middle names.


...but not THAT Motu Proprio. DANG!

Puff the Magic Dragon has the goods.

BMP (still waiting for THE Motu Proprio)

CATHOLIC CARNIVAL 125 up and runnin' at Daughter of the King. We didn't send anything, but plenty of posts worth writing home about. Enjoy!


Namely the following, as reported by the Catholic Caveman (RSCT to Dad29):

The Novus Ordo Society ~ Dedicated to keeping the Mass alive in the various languages that it's celebrated in, such as English, Spanish, Esperanto, Mongolian, Tierra del Fuegan, Fortin, Indian Smoke Signals, Interpretive Dance, Goomba Brooklyn-Italiano Obscene Hand Gestures, Binary, Martian, etc. Originally named "Plures Voces", but changed name to current because someone realized that Plures Voces was in that ridiculous Latin.

The SSML; The Society of St. Martin Luther ~ "Telling The Pope To Go To Hell Since 1517". The SSML is a radical off-shoot of the SSHK, the Society of St. Hans Kung, which was a radical off-shoot of the SSVII, the Society of the Spirit of Vatican II. Membership in all three organizations is dwindling due to all their members are dying of old age.

Free-Thinking Single Catholics ~ A forum for the more liberally minded who are seeking either a guilt-free short term concubine-in-residence, or a long term straight-bi-gay-lesbian-transgendered-polygamous-incestuous-bestial-necrophiliac (any combination thereof) relationship. Day-Glo condoms, morning after pills, and penicillin booster shots provided free of charge to those who sign up for one year membership.

Latin Mass Watch ~ A Novus Ordo news portal that specializes in featuring various horror stories of overt Traditional Catholicism world-wide.

Lair of the Catholic Eco-Friendly Sissy Ticklefight Pooh Bear Cavepersons of Undetermined Gender ~ A quasi-serious weblog that gaily focuses on the glories of everything Novus Ordo. Special attention paid to true meaning of the Theology of Dandelions and Kitten Whiskers, and what it mean to everyone at Sts. Che and Fidel Catholic Community of Berkeley, California. Peace, out.

The Caveman also has this video proving how English is always evolving and Latin has always been steady.

Finally, Paul Nichols has illustrated in the cartoon below the above named sharks (er, special interest groups).



on today's cover of The Crescat. Hey, I'm with these guys!


Monday, June 25, 2007


Online Dating

because of citings of the following words: abortion (5x), dead (2x), and zombie (1x).
Anyone thinks I'm censoring, they're in for a rude surprise!

The Christus Vincit ANYWHERE! website didn't have that same fortune:

Online Dating

"No bad words" were found.

RSCT to Fr. Erik.



This week's featured article at CanticaNOVA showcases (CV's own!) Nick's music program at the Cathedral of St. Patrick in Harrisburg, PA. WOOHOO!





Interleague play is done for the year. I kinda like it when the pitchers bat. For me, I love it even more when Josh Beckett hits for the Red Sox. Last year, he was the first Red Sox pitcher to hit a home run since Marty Pattin did it --- in 1972! Well, this year, he hit .182 (3 for 11, including a double and an RBI). Last year, he hit .429 (4 for 7, including a homer and 3 RBI). For that short stint, he slugged .857. WOW!

Anyhoo, here's how each of the teams fared in interleague play:

Maida Tigers and Brown Angels 14-4 (.778)
O'Malley Red Sox 12-6 (.667)
George Cubs 8-4 (.667)
Flynn Twins and Vann Rangers 11-7 (.611)
Eagan Yankees, Collins Blue Jays, Finn Royals, Vigneron Athletics and Chaput Rockies 10-8 (.556)
DiMarzio Mets, Rigali Phillies, Dolan Brewers and Olmstead Diamondbacks 8-7 (.533)
Lennon Indians, Brunett Mariners, Favalora Marlins, Wuerl Nationals and DiNardo Astros 9-9 (.500)
Burke Cardinals and Brom Padres 6-9 (.400)
Lynch Devil Rays and Pilarczyk Reds 7-11 (.389)
Keeler Orioles 6-12 (.333)
Bradley Pirates, Mahony Dodgers and Niederauer Giants 5-10 (.333)
Gregory Braves 4-11 (.267)
George White Sox 4-14 (.222)

Here's how they did last weekend:
Cdl. O'Malley (GO SOX!) took 2 of 3 in Bp. Brom's turf.
Abp. Flynn took 2 of 3 in Abp. Favalora's turf.
Abp. Collins swept Abp. Chaput.
Bp. DiMarzio swept Bp. Vigneron.
Abp. Wuerl took 2 of 3 off Bp. Lennon.
Bp. Lynch took 2 of 3 off Cdl. Mahony.
In the battle of the Cdl. George teams, the Cubs swept the White Sox at US Cellular.
Abp. Dolan took 2 of 3 off Bp. Finn.
Cdl. Rigali (GO PHILS! - for Nick) took 2 of 3 in Abp. Burke's turf.
Bp. Brown swept Bp. Bradley.
Abp. Niederauer took 2 of 3 off Cdl. Egan.
Abp. Brunett took 2 of 3 off Abp. Pilarczyk.
Bp. Olmstead took 2 of 3 off Cdl. Keeler.
Cdl. Maida swept Abp. Gregory in his turf.
In the battle of the Texans, Bp. Vann took 2 of 3 off Abp. DiNardo.

Rankings: (Negative numbers in parentheses denote games out of first place)

AL EAST: O'Malley, Collins (-11), Egan (-11.5), Lynch (-14.5), Keeler (-16.5)
AL CENTRAL: Maida, Lennon (-2), Flynn (-6.5), George's White Sox (-14.5), Finn (-16)
AL WEST: Brown, Brunett (-8), Vigneron (-9), Vann (-18.5)
NL EAST: DiMarzio, Rigali (-3), Gregory (-4.5), Favalora (-6.5), Wuerl (-10)
NL CENTRAL: Dolan, George's Cubs (-7.5), Burke (-8.5), DiNardo (-11), Bradley (-12), Pilarczyk (-14.5)
NL WEST: Olmstead, Brom (-1), Mahony (-1.5), Chaput (-5.5), Niederauer (-11)

The series for the weekdays:

O'Malley at Brunett M-T-W (both are off Th)
Collins at Flynn M-T-W-Th
Vann at Maida M-T-W-Th
Vigneron at Lennon M-T-W-Th
Egan at Keeler T-W-Th (both are off M)
Finn at Brown M-T-W (both are off Th)
George's White Sox at Lynch M-T-W-Th
Burke at DiMarzio M-T-W-Th
Pilarczyk at Rigali T-W-Th (both are off M)
Wuerl at Gregory M-T-W (both are off Th)
Favalora at Bradley T-W-Th (both are off M)
Chaput at George's Cubs M-T-W (both are off Th)
DiNardo at Dolan M-T-W (both are off Th)
Mahony at Olmstead M-T-W-Th
Brom at Niederauer M-T-W (both are off Th)


A really cool sport that can be found in the following Sees: O'Malley, Coleman, McManus, McDonnell, McCormack, and Malone, plus one isolated bowling center somewhere in Pilarczyk's turf, and in Eastern Canada.

Ten really skinny pins, a ball the size of a softball (trust me, the ball is not soft), and three shots to knock'em down. You don't clear the deadwood, you play it! Unlike tenpins (normal big balls and two shots to knock'em down) where PBA pros often average 220-plus, your typical candlepin pro averages about 120-130ish. My all-time favorite candlepin pro: Tom Olszta (the guy's a total animal on the lanes - kicks butt and brings in a rowdy audience!). Other favorites include Paul Berger, Steve Puopolo, Charlie Jutras, and Mike Morgan (as well as Mike's late brother Tom Morgan). Big names in the ladies' brackets include Toni-Marie Baldinelli Lopes, Dot Petty, and the late Stacia Czernicki.

Right now, the current candlepin bowling show I watch is in summer mode (er, reruns), but the new season starts in October. What's really nice is that the show, Candlepin Challenge, is on a cable channel in Massachusetts (Comcast 8) that can be watched from your computer. Candlepin Challenge is aired on Saturdays at 11:00 AM, and on Sundays at 5:00 PM (a rerun of the Saturday show). This year's Tournament of Champions (which showcases the bowlers with the best series scores) winner is Bob Whitcomb. Returning champion come October will be Brian Crowell, who won the last match of the regular season a couple of weeks ago.

TRIVIA: Who (besides myself and possibly Domini Sumus) knows what a "half Worcester" (or as the CN8 announcers call it, a "half Wistah") is? :P

Your Christus Vincit Sports Desk


Dominica XIII per Annum - July 1, 2007

OLD 100TH - All people that on earth do dwell
Gloria VIII
Psalm Tone 8G - You are my inheritance, O Lord
Mode VI - Alleluia (verse sung to Psalm Tone 6F)
THAXTED - O God, beyond all praising
Vermulst - Sanctus and Agnus Dei from People's Mass
Danish tone - Memorial and Amen
Chant - Lord's Prayer/English
UNDE ET MEMORES - Lord, who at thy first Eucharist did pray
LOBE DEN HERREN - Praise to the Lord, the Almighty


Friday, June 22, 2007


I was scratching my head for three days thinking "that cathedral looks like a sports trophy", but I couldn't remember which one. My daughter Brittany kept telling me it looked like a ball park of some sort.




How did they do?
Abp. Chaput swept Cdl. Egan 3-1, 6-1, 4-3
Cdl. Maida swept Abp. Wuerl 9-8, 15-1, 8-4
Bp. Lennon took 2 of 3 off Cdl. Rigali 10-1, 6-9, 10-6
Cdl. Mahony took 2 of 3 off Abp. Collins 10-1, 1-12, 8-4
Abp. Flynn took 2 of 3 off Bp. DiMarzio 1-8, 9-0, 6-2
Cdl. O'Malley took 2 of 3 off Abp. Gregory 4-9, 4-0, 11-0
Abp. Dolan swept Abp. Niederauer 5-4, 6-2, 7-5
(In a battle of two of this country's BEST prelates:)
Abp. Burke took 2 of 3 from Bp. Finn 3-5, 5-1, 7-6
Abp. Favalora took 2 of 3 from Cdl. George's White Sox 6-10, 7-5, 5-4
Bp. Vann took 2 of 3 from Cdl. George's Cubs 4-5, 7-3, 6-5
Bp. Olmstead took 2 of 3 from Bp. Lynch 2-10, 10-8, 7-4
Abp. Brunett took 2 of 3 from Bp. Bradley 3-5, 7-0, 3-0
Cdl. Keeler took 2 of 3 over Bp. Brom 6-12, 7-1, 6-3
Bp. Vigneron took 2 of 3 off Abp. Pilarczyk 6-1, 2-5, 5-3
Bp. Brown took 2 of 3 off Bp. DiNardo 10-9, 5-9, 8-4

What are they doing for the weekend?
Nick's Phillies (Cdl. Rigali) will go to St. Louis to face one of my favorite prelates, Abp. Burke.
The Cdl. George Series (Cubbies and White Sox) will take place at U.S. Cellular Field.
Abp. Flynn will go to Florida and see Abp. Favalora.
Bp. Lennon will take on Abp. Wuerl in our nations Capital.
Abp. Chaput will go into the Great White North to take on Abp. Collins.
Bp. Vigneron will go east and play against Bp. DiMarzio.
Cdl. Mahony also will go east and will take on Bp. Lynch.
Cdl. Maida will go south and take on Abp. Gregory.
Bp. Finn will go up against Abp. Dolan.
In a battle of the Texans, Abp. DiNardo will go up against Bp. Vann in Arlington.
Cdl. Keeler will take on Bp. Olmstead in America's HEATland (Arizona).
Bp. Bradley will go west and take on Bp. Brown.
Abp. Pilarczyk will go west and play Abp. Brunett.
Cdl. O'Malley will also head west and play Bp. Brom in a battle between Gerald's two favorite teams. Who will he root for?
And finally, Cdl. Egan goes west to face Abp. Niederauer.

Current Standings:
(Teams appear in order by win/loss percentage)

AL East: O'Malley, Egan, Collins, Lynch, Keeler
AL Central: Lennon/Maida (tie), Flynn, George's White Sox, Finn
AL West: Brown, Vigneron, Brunett, Vann
NL East: DiMarzio, Gregory, Rigali, Favalora, Wuerl
NL Central: Dolan, Burke, George's Cubbies, DiNardo/Bradley (tie), Pilarczyk
NL West: Brom*, Olmstead*, Mahony, Chaput, Niederauer

*In the games behind column, Brom and Olmstead are tied. Brom leads in W/L pct. by only two percentage points.

BLOGGERS: Leave your favorite baseball team in the comments box and we'll gladly link you in our next sportscast!

Your Christus Vincit Sports Team

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


RSCT to Gerald.

A witty, post-Vatican II Anglican convert to Catholicism was once asked what he missed most about his former ecclesiastical home. “The Mass in English,” he immediately replied. Bishop Trautman is clearly a man of intelligence and learning, so it’s all the more puzzling why he seems to defend the indefensible. For how can anyone with a sense of the majesty of the English language defend the See-Spot/See-Spot-Run vocabulary and syntax the new ICEL translations are intended to replace?

Bishop Trautman would likely agree that, as a general principle, “pastoral” doesn’t mean “dumbed-down.” Yet that’s precisely the strategy many professional liturgists have advocated in the post-Vatican II translation wars. I, for one, am grateful that they’ve lost the argument.

Because we’re not morons, and we shouldn’t be treated as such.

Entire article here.

UPDATE 6/21/07 @ 2:20 PM: Gerald updated his post to include a draft of the Missa Hominis Piscis, given by one of his readers. What a hoot!

Go George!

CATHOLIC CARNIVAL 124 up and runnin' at Just Another Day of Catholic Pondering. Though we sent them nothing this week, the posts given are always worth checking out.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


Any chance the same architect for all three of these?

RSCT to Gerald and Fr. Erik



Or, Motu Mania done right!

Thus saith Father Z:

Fr. Z’s 5 Rules of Engagement for When and If the Motu Proprio Comes:
1) Rejoice because our liturgical life has been enriched, not because "we win". Everyone wins when the Church’s life is enriched. This is not a "zero sum game".
2) Do not strut. Let us be gracious to those who have in the past not been gracious in regard to our "legitimate aspirations".
3) Show genuine Christian joy. If you want to attract people to what gives you so much consolation and happiness, be inviting and be joyful. Avoid the sourness some of the more traditional stamp have sadly worn for so long.
4) Be engaged in the whole life of your parishes, especially in works of mercy organized by the same. If you want the whole Church to benefit from the use of the older liturgy, then you who are shaped by the older form of Mass should be of benefit to the whole Church in concrete terms.
5) If the document doesn’t say everything we might hope for, don’t bitch about it like a whiner. Speak less of our rights and what we deserve, or what it ought to have been, as if we were our own little popes, and more about our gratitude, gratitude, gratitude for what God gives us.

RSCT to the Curt Jester.



Cathedral Edition

Yes, this sick debacle took place at a jubilee Mass for Franciscan women religious (nuns, right?) at the Cathedral in Joliet, IL.

More on this from Mark Abbott and Gerald Augustinus.

Trying to avoid a regurgitation vacation, I remain peacefully,


RSCT to Shawn Tribe at NLM. Here's the link to an article from Bishop Arthur Serratelli, Bishop of Paterson, New Jersey.

Some excerpts:

The anti-authoritarian prejudice that we have inherited from the social revolution of the '60’s imprinted on many a deep mistrust not only of government but of Church. Some even reject the very idea of hierarchy (literally, “a sacred origin”) as a spiritual authority established by God. As a result, Church means, for some, simply the assembly of like-minded believers who organize themselves and make their own rules and dogmas.

Kind of a reminder of the rock opera Tommy. Actually, I never saw the rock opera, but did see the 1975 movie version thereof, and recall when Tommy's followers got frustrated, and started chanting We're not gonna take it! and rejected him completely. That's what's happening in the scenario that Bp. Serratelli points out, except those same people rejecting their Catholic Church STILL have the nerve to call themselves Catholic.

Living in our world, we breathe the toxic air that surrounds us. Even within the most sacred precincts of the Church, we witness a loss of the sense of the sacred. With the enthusiasm that followed the Second Vatican Council, there was a well-intentioned effort to make the liturgy modern. It became commonplace to say that the liturgy had to be relevant to the worshipper. Old songs were jettisoned. The guitar replaced the organ. Some priests even began to walk down the road of liturgical innovation, only to discover it was a dead end. And all the while, the awareness of entering into something sacred that has been given to us from above and draws us out of ourselves and into the mystery of God was gone.

Teaching about the Mass began to emphasize the community. The Mass was seen as a community meal. It was something everyone did together. Lost was the notion of sacrifice. Lost the awesome mystery of the Eucharist as Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. The priest was no longer seen as specially consecrated. He was no different than the laity. With all of this, a profound loss of the sacred.

Just one big party. Which explains such BS jargon as gathering hymn, gathering rite, gathering space to mean narthex or vestibule, worship space to mean church proper.

Walk into any church today before Mass and you will notice that the silence that should embrace those who stand in God’s House is gone. Even the Church is no longer a sacred place. Gathering for Mass sometimes becomes as noisy as gathering for any other social event.

Weddings and very large funerals always seem to be the worst, at least in my experiences. However, even on a Sunday (or Saturday anticipated) Mass, there has been occasion where my pastor would have to stop just to beg a certain section to be quiet. A little bit of common sense - when you get into the church proper, shut your pieholes (except for the purpose of worship, that is... singing and saying the parts proper to them).

We may not have the ability to do much about the loss of the sacredness of life in the songs, videos and movies of our day. But, most assuredly, we can do much about helping one another recover the sacredness of God’s Presence in His Church.

That is so true. Don't think about it then ask What if the people pitch a bitch? Just do it!

Bishop Serratelli's article is the first in a series of four on this topic. I'll be looking forward for more. Kudos, Bishop.


Monday, June 18, 2007

Baby Update...CORRECTION

In the final stretch. If Baby does not arrive naturally by the weekend, we will go in for induction next Monday at 8am EDT.


OT 11 at Cathedral

Prelude: Herzlich tut mich verlangen - Buxtehude
Entrance: Amazing Grace
Penitence: Form B
Kyrie: simple chant - Proulx
Gloria: John Lee
Psalm: Guimont
Celtic Alleluia
Offertory: Our Father, We Have Wandered / PASSION CHORALE
Sanctus, etc: Creation
Communion: Ubi Caritas - Hurd
Hymn: There's a Wideness in God's Mercy
Postlude: God of Grace - Manz

CV SPORTS 6/18/07


Weekend Wrapup
In National League action:
Bishop Brom took 2 of 3 from Cardinal George's Cubbies (1-4, 1-0, 11-3)
- The Catholic Caveman has a bench clearing brawl video from Saturday's game.

In interleague play:

Cardinal Maida took 2 of 3 from Cardinal Rigali (12-8, 3-6, 7-4)
Bishop Bradley took 2 of 3 from Cardinal George's White Sox (4-2, 1-6, 8-7)
Bishop Olmstead swept Cardinal Keeler (7-3, 8-4, 6-4)
Archbishop Gregory took 2 of 3 from Bishop Lennon (5-4, 6-2, 2-5)
Cardinal Egan took 2 of 3 from Bishop DiMarzio (0-2, 11-8, 8-2)
Cardinal O'Malley swept Archbishop Niederauer (10-2, 1-0, 9-5)
Archbishop Collins took 2 of 3 from Archbishop Wuerl (7-2, 7-3, 2-4)
Bishop Vann took 2 of 3 from Archbishop Pilarczyk (7-6, 4-8, 11-4)
Archbishop DiNardo swept Archbishop Brunett (5-1, 9-4, 10-3)
Bishop Finn took 2 of 3 from Archbishop Favalora (6-2, 8-9, 5-4)
Archbishop Dolan took 2 of 3 from Archbishop Flynn (11-3, 5-2, 9-10)
Archbishop Chaput took 2 of 3 from Bishop Lynch (12-2, 10-5, 4-7)
Archbishop Burke took 2 of 3 from Bishop Vigneron (3-14, 15-6, 10-6)
And finally, in the battle of the leftmost prelates:
Bishop Brown took 2 of 3 from Cardinal Mahony (1-2, 3-0, 10-4)

Where will they be next?
Archbishop Niederauer will play Archbishop Dolan in Milwaukee M-T-W.
Cardinal Maida takes on Archbishop Wuerl in our nation's Capital M-T-W.
Cardinal O'Malley takes on Archbishop Gregory in Atlanta M-T-W.
Cardinal Rigali will face Bishop Lennon in Cleveland M-T-W.
Archbishop Flynn will meet Bishop DiMarzio at Shea M-T-W.
Bishop Finn will face his provincial, Archbishop Burke, in St. Louis M-T-W.
Archbishop Favalora will face Cardinal George's White Sox at US Cellular M-T-W.
Bishop Lynch will play Bishop Olmstead in Arizona M-T-W.
Archbishop DiNardo will take on Bishop Brown in Anaheim M-T-W.
Archbishop Pilarczyk will meet Bishop Vigneron in Oakland M-T-W.
Cardinal Mahony will face Archbishop Collins in Toronto T-W-Th.
Cardinal George's Cubbies will take on Bishop Vann at Arlington T-W-Th.
Cardinal Egan will face Archbishop Chaput in the Mile High City T-W-Th.
Cardinal Keeler will play Bishop Brom in San Diego T-W-Th.
Bishop Bradley will take on Archbishop Brunett in Seattle T-W-Th.

Those prelates playing Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday will have Thursday off.
Those prelates who are off Monday will play Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Your Christus Vincit Sports Desk

Sunday, June 17, 2007


Nativity of Saint John the Baptist - June 24, 2007

Here's a solemnity that I get to play for once every five to six years. The unfortunate note is that the music issue doesn't offer much for the solemnity itself. Perhaps something like The Great Forerunner of the Morn (which Worship III sets to WINCHESTER NEW). I would have done the Benedictus set to FOREST GREEN if I got to teach the pew folk, but we never got to it.

So, here's the list:

SINE NOMINE - For all the saints
Jubilate Deo (Gloria/Sanctus/Memorial/Amen/Agnus)
Psalm Tone 8G -
- (Saturday): Since my mother's womb, you have been my strength
- (Sunday): I praise you for I am wonderfully made
Mode VI - Alleluia
NETTLETON - God, we praise you
Chant - Lord's Prayer (English)
Moore - Taste and See
LASST UNS ERFREUEN - Ye watchers and ye holy ones


Friday, June 15, 2007



Brom at George's Cubs
Maida at Rigali
Olmstead at Keeler
Gregory at Lennon
DiMarzio at Egan
Niederauer at O'Malley
George's White Sox at Bradley
Wuerl at Collins
Vann at Pilarczyk
Brunett at DiNardo
Favalora at Finn
Dolan at Flynn
Lynch at Chaput
Burke at Vigneron
(and the classic matchup between Bishops of the leftmost wing, and that doesn't only mean geographically:)
Brown at Mahony

Your Christus Vincit Sports Team


RSCT and a big wet kiss to my wife for this one. I have a few more she sent me, but I'm still trying to figure out what to do with them.

Battling it out for the Worst Catholic Hymnal competition! As you can see, these two are running neck-and-neck!



Father Z has the skinny (RSCT to Gerald):

The document is ready and signed.
It is being translated.
It will be issued before the Pope’s summer break.
There is a long explanatory letter from the Pope, of a theological nature to the bishops of the world to help the MP’s reception.
There will be a press conference with Cardinals Arinze (CDWDS), Castrillon Hoyos (P.Comm. Ecclesia Dei) and Herranz (PC Leg. Texts – retired).
The delay resulted from strong opposition of bishops conferences.
A friend of the Pope, Msgr. Nicholas Bux (a well-known author I respect on traditional matters), says it is a matter of days.

This MP will do one of two things, besides give the people a choice between "Rite I" and "Rite II". Either the Rite II folk will pull for doing things right, that is, a true reform stemming from Rite I, or the Rite II folk will distance themselves further and turn "low church". I'm optimistic that it will be the former.


Thursday, June 14, 2007

Website Revamp

There may be a slight delay before the next episode of CVA comes up. I'm currently revamping the daylights out of our site, the mothership of Christus Vincit ANYWHERE! Worst case scenario: about a week.

Also, for the next few weeks after that, episodes will be a little spotty, due to my daughter having softball tourneys (she's on the all-star team this year, YAY!). I'll be out a lot more than in during those weeks. We could be talking Wednesday, Thursday, or even Friday episodes for all we know. We'll play it by ear. Once she's done, it'll be business as usual.

Thanks for your support, your listening, your feedback, your votes, diggs, etc. Please keep them coming. We may be slow for the next month or so, but it's only temporary.



Part of the Curt Jester's review (RSCT* to Dad29):

...Another hilarious section is a critique of some of the songs you will find sung at most Masses. "

"Here I am, Lord." This hymn depicts a human soul responding to the call of Christ--but the music is whiny and grim, evoking in most people's minds a can of rancid potted meat, being slowly spread by windshield wipers across a plate of dirty auto glass.

You hear Christ calling all right--but you feel like He's some hobo who's tapping at your window at 4 a.m. to wake you from a sound sleep so He can ask you directions to Dunkin' Donuts. You don't so much want to answer Him as clock him with a slipper.

Sung in a sleepwalking, zombie rhythm, its use at Communion time produces a strikingly cinematic effect, which film critics have dubbed "The Church of the Living Dead." Here again, we have a chance to bring good out of evil: In preliminary tests, use of this song by military interrogators has proved successful, slightly more humane replacement for water-boarding."

One may note the many times families of faithful departed souls and undertakers call me (and many of my colleagues) asking for "Here Me Is, Lard" to be sung while the casket is being rolled down the aisle. It's just another song that focuses on me instead of on Christ, written to a ripoff of the Brady Bunch theme (as Thomas Day rightfully compares in his book Why Catholics Can't Sing). Oh, and let's not forget that in the verses, we sing as if we're Christ - in the first person.

Not good!

*PS: RSCT = "Red Sox Cap Tip"


Sleazy Special Interest Group Tries to Hush Bishop Tobin

Yup - some group of pro-abortion turds are trying to get the IRS to claim that Bishop Tobin's slam on Rudy Giuliani was a violation of tax law. HUH???

Here's the Providence Journal article...

Bishop’s remarks violate tax law, group says
01:00 AM EDT on Thursday, June 14, 2007
A Washington-based advocacy group accuses the Most Rev. Thomas J. Tobin, bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Providence, of violating tax law by criticizing GOP presidential candidate Rudolph Giuliani’s abortion views in the diocesan newspaper.

The group is asking the Internal Revenue Service to investigate the diocese. (This should be a big laugh!)

Americans United for Separation of Church and State (or "Americans United for Pro-Abortion Causes" or "Americans United for Planned Parenthood"), in a news release yesterday, said it took the action because “federal tax law forbids non-profits to use organizational resources to support or oppose candidates for public office.” The Rev. Barry W. Lynn (apparently not Catholic, and if he is, he's very likely excommunicated himself), the group’s executive director, said in the letter that Tobin, “appears to have violated federal tax law by attacking Giuliani.” Tobin made his comments in a piece in the Rhode Island Catholic, questioning Giuliani’s position that abortion is wrong, but that government should not impede a woman’s ability to obtain an abortion.

“If the bishop wants to join the political fray, he should do so as an individual without dragging along his tax-exempt diocese,” Lynn said in the news release. “A church is not a political action committee, and it should not act like one.” (Looks more like it was acting like a Church to me.)

On its Web site, Americans United for Separation of Church and State describes itself as a “nonpartisan organization dedicated to preserving the constitutional principle of church-state separation,” with members in every state. A spokesman for Tobin said the complaint lacks merit, according to the Associated Press. (Big time lacks merit!)

Wake up and smell the frickin' coffee -- Bishop Tobin did NOT endorse any candidate. He's rightfully teaching his flock what the Catholic Church teaches. He's not telling people who and who not to vote for. He's simply saying abortion is wrong - period. If you support abortion (and don't give me this "oh it's wrong, but the people should choose" chit), and you're Catholic, you're distancing yourself from the faith.

Go ahead! Have the IRS investigate me! I'm non-profit. I don't make a frickin' cent off this blog; nor do my cohorts, Nick and Jason.
Any excuse to try to hush the righteous! Sheesh! Frickin' turds!


Tuesday, June 12, 2007


is up and runnin' nice and early this week at Deo Omnis Gloria. The snark contribution this week is our two English buddies pulling a Victor Borge on the pipe organ.



Back by somewhat popular demand



American League
O'Malley Red Sox 40-22 .645
Egan Yankees 30-31 .492 (9-1/2 games out)
Collins Blue Jays 30-33 .476 (10-1/2 games out)
Keeler Orioles 29-34 .460 (11-1/2 games out)
Lynch Devil Rays 28-33 .459 (also 11-1/2 out)
Lennon Indians 37-25 .597
Maida Tigers 36-26 .581 (1 game out)
Flynn Twins 30-31 .492 (6-1/2 games out)
- (soon to be the Nienstedt Twins)
George White Sox 27-33 .450 (9 games out)
Finn Royals 24-40 .375 (14 games out)
Brown Angels 40-24 .625
- (I know, they're the LA Angels, but they still play in Anaheim, Brown's diocese)
Brunett Mariners 34-26 .567 (4 games out)
Vigneron A's 34-28 .548 (5 games out)
Vann Rangers 23-40 .365 (16-1/2 games out)
- (The Ballpark at Arlington is in the Fort Worth diocese)

National League
DiMarzio Mets 36-26 .581
- (Shea Stadium is in the Brooklyn Diocese)
Gregory Braves 35-29 .547 (2 games out)
Rigali Phillies 33-31 .516 (4 games out)
Favalora Marlins 31-33 .484 (6 games out)
Wuerl Nationals 26-37 .413 (10-1/2 games out)
Dolan Brewers 34-29 .540
George Cubs 28-34 .452 (5-1/2 games out)
Burke Cardinals 27-33 .450 (also 5-1/2 out)
DiNardo Astros and Bradley Pirates both 26-37 .416 (8 games out)
Pilarczyk Reds 25-39 .391 (9-1/2 games out)
Brom Padres 36-26 .581
Olmstead Diamondbacks 37-27 .578 (tied for first in games out column)
Mahony Dodgers 36-28 .563 (1 game out)
Chaput Rockies 31-32 .492 (5-1/2 games out)
Niederauer Giants 29-34 .460 (7-1/2 games out)

Tonight's games:
DiMarzio at Mahony
Dolan at Maida
Vann at Bradley
George (AL) at Rigali
Chaput at O'Malley
Olmstead at Egan
Wuerl at Keeler
Lennon at Favalora
Brown at Pilarczyk
Brom at Lynch
Vigneron at DiNardo
Brunett at George (NL)
Burke at Finn
Gregory at Flynn
Collins at Niederauer

Your Christus Vincit Sports Desk

Monday, June 11, 2007


I got an e-mail this afternoon from Michael Lawrence of NLM fame. There's a new schola in the works in Philadelphia, specializing in chant and polyphony. Here's their new blog. I'll be adding it to the CV Definitive Blogroll!



Holy Ghost Church, Tiverton, RI
Sunday XI - June 17, 2007

LAUDA ANIMA - Praise, my soul, the King of heaven
Gloria VIII
Psalm Tone 8G - Lord, forgive the wrong I have done
Chant, Mode VI - Alleluia
THAXTED - O God, beyond all praising
Vermulst - People's Mass (Sanctus/Agnus)
Danish - Memorial/Amen
Chant - Lord's Prayer (English)
Chant, Mode VI - Ubi Caritas (in Latin)
IN BABILONE - There's a wideness in God's mercy


Sunday, June 10, 2007


Good way to come home after three Corpus Christi Masses, followed by my daughter's softball game:

What is a progressive's favorite Latin hymn?
Tantrum Ego!
(Compliments of the Curt Jester.)

A few years back, I used to think it was O God, My Ego's Getting to Me (ripped off from O Deus, Ego Amo Te).


Saturday, June 9, 2007


Anyone ever see Victor Borge do one of his unique piano duets? I mean, the one where Mr. Borge and some other guy alternate places on the one piano for so many bars? Well, following his cue are two organists doing the same with the Tocatta from Widor's Symphony V. Quite the feat, and well-done. You can tell these guys rehearsed the daylights out of this! Check it out!



After reading Nick's hat tip to Gerald about Our Lady of the Aliens Church, I started reading through some more of his blog and stumbled onto this:

...They could clearly hear the US leader say "Yes, sir" when the pope asked him if he was going to meet with officials of the lay Catholic Sant’Egidio community at the US embassy later during his visit.

...On his way to see the 80-year-old pontiff, the US leader apparently recognised someone he knew, and could be heard greeting the person with a casual "How ya doin’?"

Don't they brief the President on certain matters pontifical? Here's the whole story.

UPDATE: 8:26 PM June 9, 2007 - Domini Sumus has another article about the Prez and the Pope. David Letterman would have a field day on these lines:

“It’s good to be with you sir,” Bush said as he sat down opposite the pope, crossing his legs and leaning back in a white chair.

“I did, your old country. And it was successful,” the president replied.

“It was, you know, a lot of different opinions. But it was good. It was good,” Bush said.

What's the first thing they teach you in politician school? If you can't dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bull$&!+!


Brace Yourselves......

Gerald posted THIS.

He properly titled his post, "My Eyes! My Eyes!"

A tabernacle that looks like a Go'a'uld attack vessel from Stargate SG-1, and a traffic light for a sanctuary lamp.


Friday, June 8, 2007


Better late than never!

Jay at Living Catholicism had some issues that had to be rectified, but CC122 is finally up! Jason's post on his Sacramentum Caritatis bulletin series is the first one listed! WOOHOO!



Woohoo! This in from ZENIT. (snarky remarks mine)


Providence Prelate Blasts Giuliani
Calls His Abortion Stance "Pathetic"

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island, JUNE 5, 2007 ( Bishop Thomas Tobin blasted Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani in the Rhode Island Catholic newspaper, calling the former New York mayor's position on abortion "pathetic and confusing" and "hypocritical." (In other words, he needs to either crap or get off the pot - period! You can't just say something is wrong and then say, "but it's up to the killer to choose". I'll bet Rudy-boy wouldn't say that in regards to victims already born, would he?)

In a column published Thursday, Bishop Tobin spoke out against the candidate's positions, citing a speech Giuliani gave at Houston Baptist College.

Giuliani said he believes abortion is morally wrong but that the viewpoints of those who think it is right must be respected. (What an oxymoronic line of bull$&!+!)

Bishop Tobin wrote: "Rudy's explanation is a classic expression of the position on abortion we've heard from weak-kneed politicians so frequently in recent years:
"'I'm personally opposed to it but don't want to impose my views on other people.' The incongruity of that position has been exposed many times now. As I've asked previously, would we let any politician get away with the same pathetic cop-out on other issues: 'I'm personally opposed to … racial discrimination, sexual abuse, prostitution, drug abuse, polygamy, incest … but don't want to impose my beliefs on others?'" (Gotta love a politician who is "personally opposed to" such criminal acts, but refuses to do something about it!)


The Providence bishop recalled that Catholics are "required to be pro-life" and said that "Rudy's preposterous position is compounded by the fact that he professes to be a Catholic. […] As a leader, as a public official, Rudy Giuliani has a special obligation in that regard."

The 59-year-old prelate cited a U.S. bishops' document, which says that "if a Catholic in his or her personal or professional life were knowingly and obstinately to repudiate (the Church's) definitive teaching on moral issues, he or she would seriously diminish his or her communion with the Church."

The bishop recalled that Giuliani is not the only Catholic politician who strays from Church teaching."

Rudy's defection from the Catholic faith on this moral issue is not unique, of course," Bishop Tobin lamented. "Catholic politicians of both parties, nationwide, have followed a similar path in abandoning the faith for the sake of political expediency: Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, Pat Leahy, Nancy Pelosi, and Joe Biden come quickly to mind. And on a local level, of course, Congressman Patrick Kennedy and Senator Jack Reed. (Rhode Island's own - and this is the state that's 60% Catholic!)

"How these intelligent men and women will someday stand before the judgment seat of God and explain why they legitimized the death of countless innocent children in the sin of abortion is beyond me." (They will stand before the judgement seat of God, but God will judge righteously!)


PS: In a Providence Journal (often referred to here in Rhode Island as the Urinal) article, it is cited that "Bishop Tobin became the first American bishop in this presidential election cycle to publicly condemn a candidate who supports abortion rights", and that 12 bishops spoke out encouraging voters not to vote for Sen. John Kerry in the '04 election. -BMP

Wednesday, June 6, 2007


Chant and Polyphony Master - Pontifical North American College

This is where one of my old Holy Name buddies has been spending the last few years. Dylan Corbett, the buddy in question, will be ordained a deacon this fall in Rome. He will be ordained a priest in June 2008 - hopefully here in Providence!

Anyhoo, it is his seminary, the Pontifical North American College in Rome, that is seeking a Chant and Polyphony Master. See Musica Sacra for details.


Getting Closer....

VATICAN CITY, JUNE 4, 2007 ( Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone says the waiting is nearly over for the much-discussed papal document that will reportedly liberalize the use of the Tridentine Mass.

The Vatican secretary of state said this in an interview with the Catholic newspaper Avvenire on Sunday.

"I believe that we will not have to wait much longer for its publication," Cardinal Bertone said. "The Pope is personally interested in seeing this happen. He will explain it in an accompanying letter, hoping for a serene reception."


The Bishop of Providence vs. the former Mayor of New York

Our local NBC channel WJAR-TV 10 has this: (emphasis and snarky remarks mine)

Bishop's Column On Giuliani Garners National Attention

PROVIDENCE -- The bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Providence is in the national spotlight for slamming presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani's views on abortion.
Bishop Thomas Tobin said Tuesday that he's surprised by all the attention his article is getting, but he added that he doesn't regret criticizing the former New York mayor. (No regrets are necessary, Bishop. Your article was great!)
"My goal was to address specifically the Catholics of the Diocese of Providence," Tobin told NBC 10. (Yeah, but there's nothing wrong with some good teaching like this for the rest of the world, either.)
But Tobin's criticism of Giuliani's views on abortion has garnered national attention.
"I would hope that people would take it in the right spirit. It is not intended as a personal attack on Mr. Giuliani or anybody else. It's meant to be a teaching moment for our church, reminding people of the importance of human life," Tobin said.
Giuliani, a Republican, has said he believes abortion is morally wrong but that he supports a woman's right to choose. (What kind of crap is this, Rudy? That's like saying murder of someone already born is morally wrong, but you support the gunman's right to pull the trigger. $&!+ or get off the pot, will ya??!!)
a column in the diocesan newspaper Rhode Island Catholic last week, Tobin called Giuliani's position on the issue "preposterous."
"If he thinks it's wrong, why does he think it's morally wrong? And wouldn't that be reason enough to change the climate, change the culture of abortion in our country? But he stops halfway. He says it's morally wrong, but he doesn't want to do anything about it," Tobin said.
Despite the flood of national attention, Tobin said he has no regrets about criticizing Giuliani.
"Not at all," Tobin said. "I think it's the job of the bishop to teach, and that's what this is. It's an exercise in the teaching ministry about very important issues of the sanctity of human life."
Tobin said neither Giuliani nor anyone from his campaign has contacted him about his article.

Good for you, Bishop Tobin! Kudos! BTW, a number of blogs have picked up on this over the past week.

Sunday, June 3, 2007


Corpus Christi - June 10, 2007

On Saturday (6/9), a procession will take place immediately after the 4:30 Mass. This will be the choir Mass for that weekend, as well as the end of the formal choir season. Rehearsals will resume in early September.

BICENTENNIAL - You satisfy the hungry heart
Gloria VIII
Tone 8G - You are a priest for ever, in the line of Melchizedek
Mode VI - Alleluia
PICARDY - Let all mortal flesh keep silence (Holst arrangement at 4:30)
People's/Danish Mass combo
Chant Lord's Prayer/English
(SATURDAY) Mozart - Ave Verum
(SUNDAY) Batastini/Berthier - Eat this Bread
(SATURDAY) Music for the procession:
- Werner - O Salutaris Hostia
- SWEET SACRAMENT - Jesus, my Lord, my God, my All
- NON DIGNUS - O Sacrament Most Holy
- Mode III - Tantum Ergo
- GROSSER GOTT - Holy God, we praise thy name
(SUNDAY) HYFRYDOL - Alleluia! sing to Jesus



Long time, no see!

Roughly once or twice a year we have a missionary order come over to our parish to give their campaign speech for some financial help. This weekend, we had the Franciscan Apostolic Sisters, a religious order founded in 1953 by a Franciscan from the Philippines.

The FAS sisters are the resident religious order at Precious Blood Church in Woonsocket, where I was music director for eight years (1989-1997). Sr. Maria Magdelena and Sr. Lourdes were the two nuns that came over to Holy Ghost for the weekend. What amazed me was that it's been ten years since the last time I stepped foot in Precious Blood, and Sr. Lourdes recognized my voice. Both nuns were very pleased to see me, and the feeling was mutual.

They also were familiar with Fr. Finelli, as they were there for his ordination. I also had the pleasure of playing Holy Mass for three sisters of their order as they professed their vows (Sr. Lourdes was one of them). Knowing that getting a choir together was like pulling teeth at Precious Blood, at one point the nuns (some from Precious Blood, and some from neighboring Holy Family Church) were also our resident choir. They LOVE to sing.

Sr. Magdelena told a really cool story: two former minor league ballplayers, Joe and Moe, both ninetysomethigs, were talking. Joe was on his death bed, and he asked Moe if there was baseball in heaven. A couple of days later, Joe passed on. Soon after, Moe heard a voice... "Moe, it's me, Joe!" Moe said, "Where are you?" "Up in heaven", Joe replied, "I have some good news and some bad news." Moe asked, "What's the good news?" Joe replied, "There is baseball in heaven, and all our old buddies are up here too, and we're all young again, and every day is like spring!" "That's great", said Moe, "now, what's the bad news?" Joe confessed, "You're pitching Tuesday."

It was great to see the Sisters again! Y'all come back now, ya hear!


Corpus Christi at the Cathedral

Prelude: Le Banquet Celeste -- Olivier Messiaen

Entrance: Alleluia, Sing to Jesus / HYFRYDOL

Kyrie: simple chant

Gloria: Andrews (Jones at 9:30)

Psalm 110: Michel Guimont

Sequence: Mode VIII in English (short form)

Salisbury Alleluia

Offertory: Jesus, My Lord, My God, My All / SWEET SACRAMENT

Anthem: Thee We Adore -- T. Frederick H. Candlyn

Sanctus, etc.: Community Mass

Agnus Dei: Proulx in F

Motet (9:30): Ave Verum Corpus -- Mozart

Communion: At That First Eucharist / UNDE ET MEMORES

Hymn: Holy God, We Praise Thy Name / GROSSER GOTT

Postlude: Tantum Ergo -- Charles Callahan

Saturday, June 2, 2007


Seven Things You Would See if Rednecks Ruled the World

OK, I haven't posted a good line of redneck jokes since I posted Alabama Improper's Extreme Redneck ditty back in March of last year.

Yesterday, I got in my inbox from my wife the Seven Things You Would See if Rednecks Ruled the World. (captions mine) BTW, since my wife has relatives in Tennessee, I can get away with these things, ha ha ha!

President Nelson promotes his new executive order legalizing moonshine in all fifty states! WOOHOO! Wait, no! It's YEE HAW!

He also gives tips (and leads by example) on how to save a bundle on taxes: DECREASE PROPERTY VALUE!

Air Force One now sponsors NASCAR. Even Jeff Gordon.

One small step for man, one giant step for rednecks!

The Show Must Go On! Therefore, while Martha was doing time, her cuz'n JoBeth ran the empire.

As you can see here, Bill Gates recently opened up a regional office in Chattanooga. These are the first fruits of their labors. And it's fer sale, too! No social security numbers needed. Jest the numbers on yer rifle!

From the JoBeth Stewart Trailer Park Living magazine, proper care for your dentures.


Friday, June 1, 2007

Conductor's Comments

These comments come from the former conductor of the New Hampshire Symphony

If you won't watch, I won't listen.

Play in a kind of Friday-matinee style.

Look artistic when you play that.

Try to simulate non-sight-reading.

Please don't use the depth-charge pizzicato.

(On La Valse) If Parsifal could waltz, this would be it.

Play short, especially if you don't know where you are.

It says accelerando. It's not like falling down stairs.

If that happens, don't laugh.

There is a lot of fishing for notes. I wish you would catch them.

Play as if you were musicians.

Look busy at the beginning.

It sounds like an Italian Strawberry Festival.

Play faster. It's getting late.

If you can't play the notes, play the accents.

It must be very soft. Play as if you're lost.

Violas, let your true piggish sides come out.

Horns, imagine that you've had a really ugly breakfast and it's about to come up.

(In Beethoven's 6th)--It's a brook, not the ocean! I'm getting seasick!

Strings, I know what you're thinking: "With all this racket going on, why am I playing? " Well, there's no time for existential questions right now.

(In Pathetique first movement)--It sounds like everybody has already committed suicide.

Not so bright. It sounds like "Orpheus in His Underwear".

I'll try not to make the really distracting twitch before your B double-flat.

Let's see if you can pizzicato together in a non-banjo way.

That was a drive-by viola solo.

The place where you will be shot if you come in early is the bar before 26.

Imagine you have tone.

I'm not doing much at the beginning of the measure, but I'm going to beat it and get very excited.

Pretend you took the parts home and practiced them.

(To saxophonist in Lt Kije Suite)--Sound like New Year's Eve.

Play like you've had expensive lessons.

(To basses) I will fire the next one I see using vibrato on a pizz.

Most Holy Trinity at Fatima

Ordinary: Iubilate Deo, Credo III
Procession: Organ Improvisation; Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy
Gradual: Basilica Psalter
Alleluia: Benedictus es
Offertory: Prayer for Peace, Cherwien; Plein Jeu, Clerambault (2nd tone)
Communion: O Bone Iesu, "Palestrina"; Ave Verum, Elgar; Hymn: Come, our almighty King
Recessional: 3rd section from Fugue in E-flat (formerly known as St. Anne), J.S. Bach


For a little over 20 years, organists in the Diocese of Providence have collected their fee for funerals independently from the undertaker, and sometimes the family of the deceased.

Effective July 1, 2007, that will change. Per order Bishop Thomas J. Tobin, the new policy will be that the undertaker cuts one check to the parish for everything, including music, and the parish cuts the check for the musician. This new policy has only one con - the fact that I have to now wait till payday instead of getting the funeral check the day of the funeral. I can get used to that. Compared to the many pros in this new policy, the one con is nothing. The bishop's reasoning for the new policy is impeccable.

The reason for the new policy is so that parishes (namely musicians and especially pastors) can gain control over the music played at parish funerals, thus taking the "big head" off the undertaker who feels that since he's paying the musician directly that he's "bought" the musician and now owns him/her until the funeral Mass is over, and giving the pastor the opportunity to exercise his responsibility in liturgy (a responsibility the pastor actually has had all along, but now doesn't feel so intimidated). In the case of quite a few, you'll find some pastors who could give a rat's behind about the quality of music used at funerals - you know, the ones who think "pastoral" means "give'em what they want". In the case of a few more around here, I think some more pastors will put their two cents in, as will more musicians.

Here are some examples of what could be prevented:

1. I can remember one phone call from an undertaker who asked me for Danny Boy. I was working in a parish in my hometown back then. When I told him it was inappropriate for liturgy, his response was "Well, St. Raymond's plays it, and so does St. Mary's, and there's no problem there". My response to that line of crap was "Well, just because it's popular doesn't mean it's right". He said "Whatever!" and hung up.

2. I spent eight years as organist/music director for Precious Blood Church in Woonsocket. The pastor who I worked for during the first 6-1/2 years there was excellent. However, the undertakers in Woonsocket (most of them at the time) had a tendency of making their own rules. Some even tried to override the diocesan policy on fees by making their own "fee scale". They also had a line of soloists from the area ready for work as the undertaker would try to push a soloist into the family's funeral plans. Their "fee scale" meant that the full fee, normally given to the organist was now split in half - and for having to accomodate the soloist, who nine times out of ten liked to put on a show of their own. The pastor put a stop to that (at that parish anyways) after I said something to one undertaker and I made him call the rectory.

3. Here's something that recently happened in England, but I'll let you go over to Domini Sumus to read it. Yes, there are pastors in England who exercise control. In the case of this English priest, Fr. Brosnan, he treated the funeral Mass as a parish liturgy, not a private one, and he was absolutely right in doing so. DS writes in her own commentary, "Maybe he wasn't feeling well, was tired, or just having a bad day. Maybe she imagined a completely personalized me-centered Mass". For some reason, I picture the latter being the reality, which may have gotten to this pastor and resulting in the former, but from the article, like DS, I can only find fault in the handling of a picture that was on the casket and moved to the floor.

Thankfully, my pastor does exercise control over the funeral Mass, regardless of who's handing who the checks. And he trusts his hired help, including yours truly (his organist/music director) to make the right musical decisions. He doesn't ask me to change much, but when he does, it's for the right reasons.

As for the new order by Bishop Tobin, I'm for it all the way. Pastors may now feel more strength in saying "This is MY parish. The rules of the Church apply here." They really should have felt it all along, but this might be a good wake-up call.