A NEW WAY TO GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP...

...and change your outlook on liturgy for good!



It's the amazing SNARK-O-PEDIC!

Listen to how this bed can help your inner nutcase. BTW, you'll hear a snippet of Salve Regina being chanted a cappella. See if you can guess which TWO BLOGGERS are chanting!
Peace,
BMP

THE NEW LITURGICAL DANCE INSTRUMENTS

First, this one, which the Carolina Cannonball dubbed "The Glory Tambourine":



Then the fish shaker, sent to me by Rich (of Catholic Light fame) via e-mail:


I can distinctly remember such a fish design on a blue Chevy van (similar to the typical non-denominational "church bus") back in the 70's, owned by a heavily "charismatic" family who made it a point to attend the 7 PM folk Mass every Saturday evening. True story.

Of both these tambourines, I offer you another image of something I used to see prancing up Massachusetts Avenue in Boston during my Berklee days - people with bald heads wearing white togas (who were NOT members of the Delta Tau Xi fraternity of Animal House fame, I might add!).

Peace,
BMP

THE NEW DANCE OUTFITS

For MahonyFest '09



RSCT to Mary Jane, who writes in her own post:
If this doesn't draw people to Gregorian chant, I don't know what will!

That's it! A cabaret Mass! Oops! Better not give them ideas!
Peace,
BMP

THIS MIGHT SUIT THE CTA CREW BETTER

Rich at Catholic Light sent me the link to a video from Paul at Alive and Young.



Still not appropriate for Mass, but a little more entertaining at least.
Peace,
BMP

OK, ANY OF YOU HAVE A STRONG STOMACH?

Red Sox Cap Tip to my buddy Joe S., who pointed this out on Amy Welborn's blog.

Check out this video.

Besides the usual abuses (liturgical dance), Sing a new church (I have a better idea - how about we sing of the ONE TRUE Church?), and any other typical Call to Action intelligence (it's one of CTA's Masses in the first place - we shouldn't be surprised thus far, right?), what the hell is up with the giant voodoo dolls?

I had mentioned to Joe about the idea that they probably took down the beautiful statues (at the very least, one of Mary, one of Joseph, for side altars), but realized after watching the video that they're not in a church to begin with. It looks to be a hotel banquet room of some sort.

But voodoo dolls? WTF?

Given the median age of the pewsitter in this Mass, one could think senility. (snark snark!)
Peace,
BMP

THE VIDEO THAT GOT ME DAS BOOT

RSCT to Damian Thompson for this video. BTW, "Don't do this at church!"



This is the exact video that got my arse booted from the NaPalM boards.

The church: St. Nicholas, Evanston, IL.
The prancing pastor: Fr. Robert Oldershaw (Now retired, thank God. It kind of surprised me at first, since he was on the editorial board for GIA's best hymnal, Worship II, 1975.)
The music director: Tony Alonso (Watch his bopping around at the piano. You'd think it was Elton John playing.)

The debate started when I posted a link to the clip on the NaPalM (npmusers) message boards. A couple of people started replying with "Oh, that's Tony Alonso. He's got stuff published by OCP," as to say "Who are YOU to cry foul?"

I then posted a couple of links to articles of Cardinal Arinze decrying liturgical dance, and then I got a reply back saying that Cdl. Arinze was "clueless". I then went off on the dissenters, and closed with something like "this is why I don't waste my $85 a year for an NPM membership". Because this is the crap they support.

Peace,
BMP

LITURGICAL PRANCE INVADES IDAHO PARISH

Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

St. Mark's Church in Boise, ID has begin the implementation of (keep your barf bag handy) Liturgical Dance, where one needs not be experienced to go up looking like an idiot prancing around the sanctuary.

Like a chain letter circulates, I got this from Adrienne, who got it from Mark.

Like Adrienne, I won't comment. I'll just refer you to the clip I posted last week of an FAQ session with Francis Cardinal Arinze.

Peace,
BMP

ARINZE ON LITURGICAL DANCE

Straight from the horse's mouth, and ON VIDEO!

Got this from the Cardinal Arinze Podcast: Podcasting with the Vatican:
In the strict liturgy, that means the Mass, the Sacraments, Europe and America should not talk of liturgical dance AT ALL.

Below is the YouTube version of the video. You'll hear these words right around the four-minute mark. The good Cardinal does, however, recognize that the "dance", though not in European or American cultures, does exist in African and Asian cultures.

At around the eight-minute mark he answers a question on secular music as well. Excellent, excellent, excellent!

Enjoy!
Peace,
BMP

RICHTSTEIG ON MAHONYFEST

or "The Los Ahn-ghe-leez Religious Misedu-ma-cation Congress"

Over My Dead, Burnt, and Bleeding Body
Amongst the speakers:
"musical vandals Haaugen and Haas"

Part of the multis rooting Father Erik on, I remain peacefully,
BMP

PS: WOOHOO! Go Father Erik!

PWTN PRESENTS...

See The Curt Jester for details on this and many other new shows for the 2008 season!

Peace,
BMP

YES, DANCING IS OK...

...if it's not happening at Mass

For those on a certain message board I once frequented, here's the skinny on liturgical dance. (PHT to the Catholic Caveman) The first, dated 1975, comes from the Congregation for the Sacraments and Divine Worship, which is now known as the Congregation for Divine Worship and Discipline of the Sacraments.

DANCE IN THE LITURGY
Congregation for the Sacraments and Divine Worship

Dancing and Worship

The dance has never been made an integral part of the official worship of the Latin Church.

If local churches have accepted the dance, sometimes even in the church building, that was on the occasion of feasts in order to manifest sentiments of joy and devotion. But that always took place outside of liturgical services.

Conciliar decisions have often condemned the religious dance because it conduces little to worship and because it could degenerate into disorders.

However, the same criterion and judgment [that apply to the Eastern Rites] cannot be applied in the western culture.Here dancing is tied with love, with diversion, with profaneness, with unbridling of the senses: such dancing, in general, is not pure.

For that reason it cannot be introduced into liturgical celebrations of any kind whatever: that would be to inject into the liturgy one of the most desacralized and desacralizing elements; and so it would be equivalent to creating an atmosphere of profaneness which would easily recall to those present and to the participants in the celebration worldly places and situations.

Neither can acceptance be had of the proposal to introduce into the liturgy the so-called artistic ballet because there would be presentation here also of a spectacle at which one would assist, while in the liturgy one of the norms from which one cannot prescind is that of participation.

If the proposal of the religious dance in the West is really to be made welcome, care will have to be taken that in its regard a place be found outside of the liturgy, in assembly areas which are not strictly liturgical. Moreover, the priests must always be excluded from the dance.

Second, this, from Francis Cardinal Arinze, whom people from said message board had once referred to the good Cardinal as "clueless".

Has liturgical dance been approved for Masses by your office?

There has never been a document from our Congregation for Divine Worship and Discipline of the Sacraments saying that dance is approved in the Mass.The question of dance is difficult and delicate. However, it is good to know that the tradition of the Latin Church has not known the dance. It is something that people are introducing in the last ten years -- or twenty years. It was not always so. Now it is spreading like wildfire, one can say, in all the continents -- some more than others. In my own continent, Africa, it is spreading. In Asia, it is spreading.

Now, some priests and lay people think that Mass is never complete without dance. The difficulty is this: we come to Mass primarily to adore God -- what we call the vertical dimension. We do not come to Mass to entertain one another. That's not the purpose of Mass. The parish hall is for that.

So all those that want to entertain us -- after Mass, let us go to the parish hall and then you can dance. And then we clap. But when we come to Mass we don't come to clap. We don't come to watch people, to admire people. We want to adore God, to thank Him, to ask Him pardon for our sins, and to ask Him for what we need.

Most dances that are staged during Mass should have been done in the parish hall. And some of them are not even suitable for the parish hall.

I saw in one place -- I will not tell you where -- where they staged a dance during Mass, and that dance was offensive. It broke the rules of moral theology and modesty. Those who arranged it -- they should have had their heads washed with a bucket of holy water! [laughter]

Doesn't sound like someone clueless to me. I'm sure there will be another Religious Mis-edu-ma-cation Congress coming to L.A. pretty soon. Perhaps we should put these two statements from the Vatican and from Cdl. Arinze in a pamphlet and circulate, let's say, truckloads of these, between Los Angeles and Anaheim (the Religious Misedumacation Congress usually has their convention in Anaheim, if I'm not mistaken). Maybe the message board that booted me after I told them off for calling the Cardinal "clueless" (and the national organization that runs said message board) could use such a pamphlet too.

Peace,
BMP

LITURGICAL ROPE DANCING???

What next? Liturgical lap dancing?

This in from the California Catholic Daily. RSCT to the Catholic Caveman.

A bishop who said he has been “addicted to the desert” is leaving it. Francis A. Quinn, retired bishop of Sacramento, is returning to Sacramento, according to an Oct. 1 diocesan news release. Quinn, 86, has spent the last 13 years working with the Yaqui and Tohono O’odham Indian nations in the deserts of southern Arizona.

The Yaquis, said Quinn, “are Roman Catholic to the core.” Their liturgies have been inculturated, including rope dancing at the offertory (WTF???), he said, and “doing smoke blessings in the four directions instead of the penitential rite.” (OK - nothing against the Indians here, but the IGMR gives only two options at that point - Penitential or Sprinkling.)

Quinn said his spiritual life developed in working with the Indians. He used to find the Liturgy of the Hours “more of a burden,” but “now I get something out of reading it” -- even at night, when he normally would be reading Robert Ludlum or John Grisham. (Why is it that when it comes to things liturgical that one has to "get something out of it", besides what is already offered?)

Quinn said he thought lay involvement in the Church “a beautiful development.” “I think God has allowed this shortage of clergy and religious for a reason,” he said. “We can learn so much from laypeople.” (Again, WTF??? I suppose he supports the lay liturgy movement going on in the Netherlands too.)

Finally, this blurb on giving Communion to those who blatantly support abortion:

As for giving communion to politicians who are pro-abortion, “in most cases,” he said, “you should not deny Communion publicly to anyone who comes to the Communion rail, because you do not know the present state of their conscience…” When, in 1989, San Diego’s Bishop Leo Maher refused communion to pro-abortion Assemblywoman Lucy Killea, Quinn welcomed her to communion. "No priest in this diocese will ever refuse to give you communion," he said at the time. (Wow! Talk about the devil coming to the rescue when God said "no"! I like Abp. Burke's stance on this issue far better.)

Gotta love a good nutcase, eh?
Peace,
BMP

UPDATE: Girls Gone Wild

Remember back in June, Brian posted about the Girls Gone Wild at St. Raymond Nonnatus Cathedral in Joliet, IL? Well, this happens to be the diocese of my former parish. I sent the pics and articles onto a parishioner whose son is a college level seminarian. David, the seminarian, was equally appalled, and forwarded it to the Director of Vocations. Following is Fr. Burke's response.

David, yes I heard about this fiasco at the Cathedral.
The Bishop did not
know it was going to happen and he wasn't there. But
I'm sure he has
addressed this issue with the Joliet Franciscans that
this will not happen
again. I can't believe that these people think that
this is ok in the
liturgy. It is outrageous!

Anyway, thanks for best wishes on my trip. It was
wonderful and relaxing.

See you soon...

peace,
fr. burke

David's mother will see Bishop Sartain for the "Seminarian Sendoff" next month, as the new academic year begins, and plans to discuss the matter with him.

More to be posted as Joan, our Snark Special Reporter, confers with His Excellency.

~nb

GIRLS GONE WILD

Cathedral Edition

Yes, this sick debacle took place at a jubilee Mass for Franciscan women religious (nuns, right?) at the Cathedral in Joliet, IL.

More on this from Mark Abbott and Gerald Augustinus.

Trying to avoid a regurgitation vacation, I remain peacefully,
BMP

DID I GET UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED?

Or am I just b*tchy?

Either way, I'm gonna ask that Peter Griffin (from the Family Guy, for all you TV-challenged out there LOL) classic question, D'YOU KNOW WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS?

So.... d'you know what grinds my gears? People making a mockery of the liturgy. Like this Father Richard Rohr did at MahonyFest '07. This in from the California Catholic Daily (with a hat tip to Gerald, who's trying his damnedest to keep his promise not to curse, and my commentary in Lenten purple):

At the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress on Saturday evening, March 3, Franciscan Father Richard Rohr celebrated a “general liturgy” in a ballroom at the Anaheim Convention Center. Father Rohr is a founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque, New Mexico and a Congress presenter. (Now, let me explain something here. There are two types of Franciscans. We have the ones who really take the liturgy seriously, and we've had those guys fill in at my parish. Then you have the nutcases, like the one that drove my best friend out of his parish, and this guy. Read on.)

The processional hymn was “Christ Be Our Light,” accompanied by bongo drums. Liturgical dancers carried large, flowing banners down each of the aisles in the ballroom. Reaching the front of the ballroom, the dancers stood along either side of the podium, twirling the giant banners. (The hymn in itself isn't bad, even for a contemporary piece. I've heard a lot worse. The liturgical dance, however, is bad. Cardinal Arinze himself, in his current position with the Church, has decried liturgical dance.)

Rohr, making no sign of the cross as he began the liturgy, said to the assembly, “as a fellow member of the Body of Christ, I thank you for allowing me to speak in your name. The Eucharist is always set in the form of a dialogue. First of all, I recognize the presence in you, and you return the compliment, and then the body is born.” (NO sign of the cross? Talk about blatant ignorance for our reminder as to why we celebrate Holy Mass to begin with. Further, the priest doesn't speak in the name of the "gathered faithful", but acts "in persona Christi". The last sentence here is about as self-centered as they come.)

While the intercessions were read, several people, standing on each aisle of the ballroom, were making choreographed hand movements. Several audience members joined in mimicking the movements. (I can remember as a teen growing up having hand gestures forced down our throats as well, but during the Lord's Prayer. Just as bad if you ask me.)

The offertory procession began with two women waving banners, followed by two liturgical dancers, carrying a white tablecloth, sashaying up to the podium where Rohr sat waiting. They were followed by others who carried the hosts in large wicker breadbaskets and the wine in glass and plastic pitchers. (The infamous KoolAid jugs, ah yes!)

Rohr prayed over the gifts, “...make sure this people is hungry and ready to eat. Make sure we are not so filled with ourselves that there is not room for another person within us. Loving God, make sure this people is very hungry.” (What the sam hell kind of crap is this????)

Rohr changed some of the prayers of the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Opening the preface, he prayed, “Father and Mother God....” Before the consecration of the host, he said, “before he was given up to death, a death he said ‘Yes’ to....” And before the consecration of the wine, Rohr prayed, “when supper was ended, he gave you thanks and praise, gave the cup to his beloved....” Following the consecration, Rohr said the Christ's bloood “will be poured out for you, and for all, so you will know your sins are forgiven.” In praying for the departed, he referred to them as “especially your own beloved who are already with the Lord.” (Now, he does know that changing the words of Holy Mass is strictly forbidden by the Church, right?)

Rohr prefaced the Our Father, by saying, “and now, knowing we are more one than we are many, though we come from different places and races, we all share the same Father-Mother God. We call upon our God, together, in the words that Jesus gave us: Our Father, Who art in Heaven...” (At least the last six words here are correct - but that's it.)

Apparently SAY THE BLACK AND DO THE RED just wasn't enough for this guy. The Church GIVES US the liturgy to celebrate. We don't give our stage act to the Church.

Peace,
BMP

TWO EXACT OPPOSITES OUT WEST

MahonyFest vs. WesterFest

Liturgy-wise, Bishop Wester's diocese is the much better example, at least in Cathedral worship.

Gerald got hold of some MahonyFest '07 pics. This pics depict what is really an insult to the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. I won't go any further. Those who read enough of my rants know of the disgust I feel about the Mis-edumacation Congress.

On the other hand, I got to watch the tail end of the installation of Bishop John Wester in Salt Lake City's Cathedral of the Madeleine yesterday on their Intermountain Catholic station. Needless to say, the music was in typical Madeleine fashion - very impressive. I can't wait till it goes up as an "on demand" webcast (you can watch the latest Sunday Mass that way or even subscribe to them at iTunes) and I can watch the whole thing. Unfortunately last night, I only got to hear the closing hymn (Lord, whose love in humble service set to an impressive arrangement of IN BABILONE with brass fanfares a-plenty).

Now, I put it to ya - who's got the better "Fest"? Who would be the better example how to celebrate Holy Mass? Who would be the better example how to lead his flock?

I rest my case.

Peace,
BMP

YOU TOO CAN BE A MUSIC "MINISTER"

with this great new album of contemporary Christian hits from K-Tel:

Album cover courtesy of The Crescat.

All the greatest hits, compiled onto one big album - 3 CD's of the most banal ditties you can imagine. And you can sing along with these for just $29.95. It even comes along with dance steps so your liturgical dance troupe can join in the fun too.

Order now and make your parish look like a pack of idiots by rocking the house, while the parish next door with the Gregorian Chant, polyphony, traditional hymns, and a good organist and choir, sings a reverent and beautiful Holy Mass.

Dancewear sold separately. (Link courtesy of our friend Andrew at the RPInet boards)

Peace,
BMP

MAHONYFEST 2007 UPDATES

Paul Nichols has this hilarious cartoon, inspired by said event:
Gerald Augustinus dares us to listen to this year's hideous theme song (link leads to clips from this year's and other previous years' theme songs, one worse than the next). I didn't know whether to get out the laughing cat or just puke, or whether the laughing cat might puke. His fitting review:
"Apart from the fact that frequently the lyrics and topics from that convention aren't really English but Catholish, that painful, syrupy jargon that's been around for a few decades, they tend to sound as if they were directed at the suicide wing of the insane asylum where no one must be in any way offended."

UPDATES as of 5:49 3/2/07
Anita at V for Victory reviews the program in great detail, dubbing it Baloneyfest.
Mark at Dominican Idaho uses a term that my daughter Jessica humorously uses: edumacation, as in the Los Angeles Edumacation Conference.

Peace,
BMP

SATAN GETS AN AWARD

Paul Nichols does it again (that's a good thing!) :)

And let's not forget to thank Bishop Fishperson, Bishop Gumby, Virgil Funk, etc.

Peace,
BMP

COMING TO L.A. TOMORROW...

...and continuing till Sunday...

It's the annual fiasco that every real Catholic dreads: the 2007 Los Angeles Religious Education Conference, affectionately dubbed MahonyFest 2007!

See plenty of liturgically abusive entertainment, such as:

Liturgical Dancers!












Plenty of leg, and more dancers!











Glass vessels to store the Blood of Christ (Note: the slam is not aimed at the Blood of Christ, but the hideous containers used to store It - especially the one on the left).






And let's not forget such speakers as Bryan Massingale and Jim Wallis, and much much more! Click here and here and here and here for more extensive coverage, like why all of this is a BAD thing!

Peace,
BMP