Thursday, June 21, 2012


Just use Auto-Tune!

Learned some things about some of the big "stars" this morning while waiting for my daughter Brittany to emerge from her orthodontist's appointment.  Two of the prime offenders given by my son Brian in the waiting room: Katy "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It" Perry and Lady Ca-Ca.  Their offense: they use this clever little voice alteration tool called "Auto-Tune".  This "Auto-Tune" is what some of the big stars of today use because they tend to sing out of tune without it.  In fact, Cher was one of the first to use the device in her goofy little ditty called "Believe" (I liked most of her music before this ghastly thing that passed for a song came out).

If I would have known I could get away with relying on such a device, I wouldn't have wasted my time in vocal music classes with one of the best high school choral directors in my day.  I wouldn't have bothered to realize that I have perfect pitch.  I would have just let "Auto-Tune" do all the work, and my records would have sold millions, even if I was tone deaf.  WOW!

That just goes to show the disgrace that much of today's music has come down to.  Stolen beats, stolen riffs, fake beats, a synthesizer that plays every damn instrument there is, and now "Auto-Tune" for your tone-deaf vocal chords.

Well, you know what?  I'm extremely thankful for my ability to sing without such a device, my ability to play a few instruments (I started with guitar, taught myself most of what I know on piano and organ, taught myself a little bit of bass guitar, and just enough drums to get by as an emergency fill-in for some rock band missing a drummer), and my ability to write and arrange actual music.  I thank my high school choral director, Mrs. Nectar Lennox, for everything she's taught me.  She may not have been the first to discover my perfect pitch.  My childhood guitar teacher, Peter McNamee, actually discovered it, but to Mrs. Lennox, it was big.  Just three months ago, she told me she only knew THREE people in her life with perfect pitch - Mrs. Lennox herself, the brother of her successor, and yours truly.  I still believe, at almost four dozen years old, that what comes around will go around.  Rest assured, I'm NOT the only one who looks at "Auto-Tune" as cheating in music, just the same as the use of steroids is cheating in most (if not all) sports.

There are still many musicians out there who keep it real.  Many have gotten their due.  Many are due for their due.

Keep it real!

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