* The stupidity that precedes it, namely in the stores and on the road. Yeah, the pushing around of your fellow customers because you're trying to get that anatomically correct GI Joe or Barbie that you just can't find anywhere else. Yeah, the tying up of traffic because you're too busy shooting the breeze with your friends on your phone while maneuvering the streets in that fancified pile of nuts and bolts you pass for a car. Yeah, the display of Christmas merchandise before Halloween's even started. Who'd have thunk that I'd want to go out trick-or-treating dressed up in a Santa suit? Not to mention the monotony of music that I shall describe in the next paragraph!
* Much of the crappy mainstream elevator music that seems to pass as Christmas music, whether it be the modern garbage, or some 1940's/1950's crooner trying to belch out an old standard (especially those annoying sleeper tunes), all in the guise of sentimentalism. I can't stress enough: if you are going to sing a trashy "holiday tune" or trash a Christmas standard, at least be funny about it. ENTERTAIN ME! One day last week, I actually WAS entertained. A website from Sweden came up with this cool collection of Christmas tunes called All I want for Christmas Is a Goat! Guess what, it's Christmas standards sung by, you guessed it, GOATS! I needed that to break out of the Dean Martin/Bing Crosby/Andy Williams/Johnny Mathis/Santa Baby monotony. I needed that good laugh!
* Use of the phrase "happy holidays" because they're too afraid they're going to piss me off by saying "Merry Christmas". It's OK! You can say "Merry Christmas". I'll actually be merry! Otherwise, if you wish me a "happy holiday", I will be more than happy to choose which holiday I wish to enjoy. Fourth of July looks good. It's shortly after my birthday, which falls on Canada Day. Labor Day looks pretty cool, too. Christmas is more than just a "holiday". It's a happy, festive, holy day, in which our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ comes from the womb of Mary and greets the earth for the first time. Jesus is God's gift to us. Talk about the ultimate gift! Don't ruin it by merely saying "Happy Holiday".
I had a wonderful time last night!
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We were also WILDLY entertained by the family's dog, who did a show with his master!
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Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel!
Peace,
BMP
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