Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Top Ten Worst "Christmas Songs" of All-Time

I haven't done a top ten list in, like, eons.  And, being three days before Christmas, I decided to let loose the ten worst "Christmas songs" I've ever heard in my 51 years.  You may ask, "Why did you put 'Christmas songs' in quotation marks?"  The answer is simple.  Some are Christmas songs, in terms of theme.  However, others are just bad songs that seem to pass as Christmas music by the mainstream media (the ones that call themselves "Christmas stations" from mid-November until they revert back to their normal format on December 26).  Some may have a winter theme, but have absolutely nothing to do with Christmas whatsoever.  Some are just overly sentimental with some of the most annoying singing and/or music in general.  

Of course, opinions amongst readers may vary.  These are strictly based on my own opinion of said songs.

So, without further ado, in true iSNARK! fashion...


10. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree (in the "new old fashioned way" - makes no sense to me)
9. Most Wonderful Time of the Year (just all-around annoying)
8. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (I don't like the song, period, though I find John Cougar's to be the most annoying)
7. (UPDATED 7:26 PM XII-22-15) Happy Christmas (War Is Over) (One of only four John Lennon songs I cannot stand, along with "Imagine", "Give Peace a Chance", and "Across the Universe".  Otherwise, I find a lot of his music, with and without the Beatles, fantastic.  But this song - sounds like something from a bad hippie revival meeting, made even raunchier with the presence of Yoko Ono's voice.) TIED WITH Yoko's own "Listen the snow is falling" (link in the update paragraph below!)
6. Let There Be Peace on Earth (not even a Christmas song, but it gets airplay on those "Christmas stations", just because the words "Peace on Earth" are in the title?  Give me a break!)
5. Mary, Did You Know (bad theology)
4. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow (Please don't.  I have to drive in that crap and deal with all sorts of Rhode Idiots who have yet to learn how to deal with snow.)
3. Last Christmas (by Wham, though when I first heard it, I thought it was Boy George)
2. Baby, It's Cold Outside (nothing about Christmas, just a winter make-out duet set to hideous music)
1. Santa Baby (nothing but a Christmas wish in the eyes of a greedy whore)

UPDATE 7:26 PM XII-22-15: Facebook friend Allen Troupe just sent me this recording of another hideous song.  I'm debating where I should rank this, but it should be ranked, in terms of the worst "Christmas music" ever.  At least a tie for #7, as it is Yoko singing here, and could be tied up with her husband's hippie-trippie garbage that passes for a Christmas song.

There are plenty more I can blacklist, but these are my absolute least favorites.  Also blacklisted are "It's Beginning to Look Like Christmas", "This Christmas" (made popular by Stevie Wonder), "Winter Wonderland" (except Herb Alpert's rendition), and most vocal renditions of "Sleigh Ride" (I do like most instrumental renditions).

Also, just about anything sung by Johnny Mathis is annoying to me.  I cannot stand his voice!  There are other songs that I do like under normal circumstances, but just get thrashed by mainstream artists.


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