Friday, December 9, 2011


...or muzak that gets passed as Christmas songs

Here goes, in almost no particular order:

1) Happy Christmas/War Is Over (by Lennon, OR ANYONE who covers it --- and I'm a Beatles fan) Sounds like a really bad 1970 folk Mass revival
2) Santa Baby (by ANYONE) Nothing like a Christmas wish list by some spoiled, greedy slut
3) Baby, It's Cold Outside (by ANYONE) Which really has nothing to do with Christmas
4) The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (by almost ANYONE)
5) I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (especially the version by John Cougar Mellencamp)
6) Santa Claus Is Coming to Town (any version where the chorus screams SAAAAAAAAAAAAANTA Claus is comin' to town; SAAAAAAAAAAAAANTA Claus is comin' to town... / that goes for Bruce Springsteen, The Jackson 5, and similar styles. However, I LOVE the arrangement by the Beach Boys.)
7) Last Christmas (Wham!) Every time I hear that song, I think it's Boy George of Culture Club (BLECH!)
8) Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (by Billy Gilman - his then-boy voice sounds way too girly, or that jerk who keeps crooning "Rudy" in place of "Rudolph") (However, I'll always appreciate the classic Gene Autry version and the Ringo Starr rendition as well)
9) It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas (by almost ANYONE - parodies are OK)
10) Silver Bells (by ANYONE, especially Gloria Estefan) "This is Santa's big scene?" Was Jesus' big scene first!

Honorable mention on my Schei├če-Liste:
We Three Kings/God Rest Ye (by Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan)
Little Drummer Boy (Bob Seger cover)
Let There Be Peace on Earth (Since when did THAT become a frickin' Christmas song?)
Merry Christmas, Darling (Carpenters - and I normally appreciate their music) "Christmasing"? Since when did "Christmas" become a VERB?
Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree (by ANYONE) "New old fashioned way" just never made sense to me, and probably never will
Silent Night (by Stevie Nicks) Can't stand her voice. Period.
Where Are You Christmas? - from the "Grinch" movie. Sorry, I like the cartoon much better. The movie seems to have a very morbid, depressing backdrop, like if Tim Burton had written it. As for the song... COME ON! Christmas comes once a year, December 25. Jesus hasn't failed yet! Be patient! Be ready, but patient! The music is depressing, too.
Grown-Up Christmas List - music sounds too much like "Where Are You Christmas". BLECH!
Anything sung by Annie Lennox. I can't stand her voice!
And what the hell is that goofy ditty that the kiddies sing over the Taco Bell Cannon indeed? BORING!!!

Peace on Earth,


Richard Chonak said...

"Baby, It's Cold Outside" is truly bad with its breezy reference to date rape ("Hey, what's in this drink?")

Richard Chonak said...

Crummy spammer!

Brian Michael Page said...

"Baby it's cold outside" is amongst the world's worst.

PS: Spammer all gone!