TWO GREAT CARTOONS

from the Catholic Cartoon Master!

Paul Nichols gives us two great cartoons that hit home in my experience.


I agree - a chainsaw might just be better. This reminds me of my year-long stay at the "Roundhouse" in Warwick. The pastor wanted me to "turn things around", but would shoot down every idea of mine the minute I try to implement something. I would ask, "well, do you want these things done or not?" He'd say, "you have to do it slowly, Brian". Slowly, in many cases, is too slow. It was very very very hard for me to refrain (don't ask me how I managed) from using the old saying both of my parents would say, "well, come on now; shit or get off the pot!" Yeah, better get the chainsaw.


This, too, hits home, bringing me back to St. Patrick's, where the extraordinary minister of Holy Communion said to me "I'm sorry, I can only give it in the hand". The pastor at this church, instead of going to the center aisle like most celebrants do, wandered off to the side aisle so that the "extraordinarily extraordinary" ministers can take center stage.
In another instance, when my kids made their first Communion, they were taught only how to receive in the hand, ignoring the tongue idea like it wasn't even an option. I just happened to be at the rehearsal the day before to see this going on. After the rehearsal, I would teach my kids the proper way to receive Jesus on the tongue. Someone's gotta teach'em. The CCD nutcases at this now-closed parish sure as hell didn't.

Peace,
BMP

ON THE WAY HOME...

...my mom was telling my wife and me a couple of things that have happened recently at her home parish.

First of all, let's explain. My mom has not had a car since her wreck a few months ago. Given her age (she'll be 77 in less than a month), I highly doubt she'll drive again. From then until about a month or so ago, a neighbor was taking her to Holy Mass. That neighbor recently moved to Virginia. So, I started taking her. I won't go to her regular home parish for one reason --- THEY'VE GOT A GEE-TAR! So, we've been going to St. Joan of Arc.

Anyhoo, on the way home, my mom was telling me that the pastor at her home parish brought to their attention an abuse which I think is just downright low. Apparently there are people there who would receive Holy Communion, then go outside and spit it out. Seriously, if you're just going to spit Jesus out, why receive Him in the first place? That, to me, is even worse than when the people spit at Jesus and taunted him just before his death!

On a funnier note, though also true, there have been people there who actually have the gall to ask the usher for change at the collection. Yes, people would put, let's say, a $10 bill in the collection plate and ask for $5 back.

Nice parish, eh?! But then, THEY'VE GOT A GEE-TAR!

On a side note, at a parish that I once worked, Precious Blood Church in Woonsocket, there was a guy who would strut into church with an old guitar on his back. He would put money from board games (Monopoly, Masterpiece, etc.) into the basket.

Peace,
BMP

WHERE DO YOU RECEIVE JESUS?

On the RPInet boards, there's a good little discussion thread going about our Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI's decision to use the traditional way of distributing Holy Communion - kneeling, and on the tongue.

This got me thinking -
I made my first Holy Communion on May 16, 1971, when receiving on the tongue was still the only way to fly.

When I was in my early to mid teens, we were taught that we could (as of then) receive our Lord Jesus in our hand (as an option) as well as on the tongue.

Normally, when I attend Mass and I'm not at an organ console, I try to make an effort to get seated so that I can receive from the priest. Most of the time, from my experiences, the priest will feed one of the two lines coming down the center aisle. Sometimes I don't get so lucky. In one case, the celebrant decided to take a side aisle instead. In other cases, it's a matter of having the misfortune of landing up on the wrong line of the center aisle.

As of late (with tonight's Mass being no exception), I've been getting stuck with those extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion who have been trying to put Jesus into my folded hands instead of placing it on my tongue, which I have prepared for the EMHC to place our Lord. It's almost as if the tongue isn't even an option (or the norm) in their eyes. I've had to actually bring my tongue to them and all but say (or hold a sign pointing to my tongue saying) "PLACE JESUS HERE, PLEASE!"

Another thing I want to point out is the error in the ways of the stereotypical CCD/Religious Ed./Faith Formation powers that be that teach the kids receiving their First Communion how to receive on the hand, but make no mention of the tongue. My last two kids' classes were no exception. The tongue, as far as I understand it, is STILL the norm. And our Holy Father is bringing back kneeling - yes, in the Ordinary Form Mass - and on the tongue. The hand is an option. So, yeah - if it was me teaching, I would tell the class that you would normally receive on the tongue - reverently place your tongue out (don't lash it out as to say "neener neener neener" or "blech") so that the priest may place Our Lord and Savior on it. I would then tell the class that yes, you may also receive in the hand, and point the steps of doing so. Tell them that they may receive either way, but that the tongue is the norm, and that's what the Pope does.

Peace,
BMP