THE LATEST IN CELL PHONE SIGNS

My wife sent me the first one (I had to censor one word to make it user-friendly). After all, we have do something about these damn people who can't walk and chew gum at the same time, yet they're chatting away on the phone behind the wheel and think it's nothing, while screwing up five states of traffic on one roadway.



Now, before one starts accusing my wife, the person who made the sign, the person sending the sign to my wife, or myself of using Jesus' name in vain, the actual implication I see here is If you love Christ, hang up your phone!

Now, here's one for the church door:



This should drill some common sense, eh?
Peace,
BMP

A FRIENDLY REMINDER

I wanted to wring some throats at the 4:30 Mass last Saturday. Three times I heard a cell phone go off. The first two times were at moments that didn't involve music (and the ring tone was hip hop - probably both times the same phone, to make matters worse). The third time the ring tone was closer to an actual phone ring. But since this was at the offertory, the hymn was finished, and I was giving Father a little bit of walking music, once it started ringing, I opened up the organ considerably.

When I'm at Holy Mass, my phone stays home because I'm always afraid I'd forget to shut mine off, and I don't like leaving it unattended in my van. Although my church is in a rather quiet town, it's still just blocks from a very busy city (with very busy police).

So, on behalf of the entire CV staff, I leave my friendly reminder for those who enter the house of God:
SHUT THE DANG CELL PHONE OFF OR LEAVE IT HOME!

Friendly enough?
Peace,
BMP

CELL PHONES, TRAFFIC, AND THE LAW

Detroit is considering a law to ban use the hand-held cell phone while driving, with fines up to $100. New York State has a similar law. The Rhode Island General Assembly has twice tried to pass a similar law, but failed both times.

From my own experience on Rhode Island's roads, there have been so many close calls and near misses ("near hits" according to George Carlin) because someone is not paying attention to the road - and most (not all), sure enough, have a dang phone glued to their ear. Ever wonder why the line of traffic at the GREEN light is longer than necessary? Try waking the phone user up after he or she has been too busy gabbing to realize that, why yes, the light is green!

I had someone tell me, People tie up traffic in Boston because they're MEAN. People tie up traffic in Providence because they're STUPID. Man is he ever right!

Hat tip to Matthew at the Dusty Choir Loft.

Peace,
BMP

HOLD ON A SEC, GOD; I HAVE A CALL COMING IN!

Ah yes - the cell phone. As George Carlin once said, "Technology has created these self-important twits." So true.

The cell phone does have its plus sides, you know. I take one with me to my day job, just in case the parish secretary calls to book me for a funeral, or in case my wife calls me up and says "Hi love. We need milk." It's a great little outlet to have on the road.

However, the cell phone also has its minus sides, too. One thing that drives me nuts is the jerk behind the steering wheel that's either all over the place, or driving a good 10-15 MPH UNDER the speed limit - while chatting away on the phone with a big grin, not a care in the world. No! the other drivers have to take on those cares, unfortunately.

Worse is the people that insist on bringing their cell phones to church - and LEAVING THEM ON! Many a time I'll hear a ringer go off right in the middle of Mass, and these people will actually get up, step out, and answer the dang thing. It's almost like saying "Hey God, can you hold on for a second? I got a call coming in!" I mean, if you're coming in to worship God, and receive Jesus Christ in the Most Blessed Sacrament, can't you give him ONE HOUR (not even, in most cases) of your undivided attention? Seriously. Shut the phone off. If an emergency arises, then sure, call 911. Otherwise, let's be more considerate. Give our Lord his undivided attention while at Holy Mass. It's also more considerate for the others around you. One shouldn't have to be reminded during pre-Mass announcements to shut his/her phone off, or have signs at the entrance of the church. Common sense. But unfortunately, it's come to that.

Let's put the "Holy" back into "Holy Mass".

+In Christ,
BMP