in Tiverton Public Schools, that is!
Can you believe that one??? Yeah!!!
My parish is in Tiverton. Of course, the bright side to working in a Catholic parish is that Easter can NEVER be banned. In fact, it's REQUIRED!
Public schools in Tiverton in the US state of Rhode Island have banned the word "Easter" at all school events and children will now have their photos taken with Peter Rabbit instead of the Easter Bunny. (And what the sam hell makes a produce thief more appropriate than the Easter Bunny?)
The US Catholic League reports that William Rearick, Schools Superintendent of the Tiverton Public Schools in Rhode Island, has banned the Easter Bunny from appearing at a fundraising event tomorrow at the Tiverton Middle School. (So, when the produce thief comes to town, let's switch scripts so he gets the entire student body hyped up for Easter.)
He has also banned the word "Easter" from all school events. He told the Providence Journal that during the last year and a half, he has become "more aware of folks who don't have a Christian background." (You mean Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and even atheists can have their holidays, but Christians can't? But that's dis-I say-that's discrimination, boy!)
Taking the place of the Easter Bunny will be Peter Rabbit, the Catholic League says, and children will be able to get their picture taken with him. (Oh nice! A mug with a thug!)
But League president Bill Donohue described it as "unconscionable that in this day and age Superintendent Rearick would choose to honour a thief".
"As every schoolchild knows, Peter Rabbit stole from Mr McGregor's garden," Donohue said.
"To now hold him up as a role model to impressionable youngsters sends the wrong signal. At the very least, grief counsellors should be dispatched to tomorrow's event." (Someone, I say, someone, put the fear of God in that rabbit, will ya?!)
"There is also a more serious matter going on. The event smacks of sexism: Peter Rabbit had three sisters - Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail - and there is no historical record of them ever having committed a crime. So why were they passed over? Looks like the glass ceiling is still in place." (More discrimination - and the three sisters were clean, at least to common knowledge.)
Commenting on School Superintendent Rearick's concern not to offend other religions, Donhue said he was "astonished" that Rearick "only recently discovered Jews and Muslims".
"But better late than never. However, it was not a Jew or a Muslim who complained about the Easter Bunny - it was an ex-Catholic, Michael Burk; he is vice chairman of the school committee. No matter, I have news for Superintendent Rearick: he has not resolved the problem. (An "ex-Catholic". And what did the Easter Bunny do to piss him off? Or, even better, what did Holy Mother Church do to piss him off? Preach the truth? Ah, but can he handle the truth?)
Red Sox cap tip to Fr. Gonzales
On my way back from the rectory Thursday, I think I'll rent a megaphone, drive by the Tiverton School Administration building or whatever they call the head-honcho-quarters at about two miles an hour and yell out:
DEAR MR. BURK, MAY THE PEACE OF THE RISEN CHRIST BE WITH YOU THIS EASTER, AND MAY THE EASTER BUNNY GIVE YOU LOTS OF CHOCOLATES!