Thursday, January 17, 2008

Ok Already, Lookie-Loo's!

If you're here out of curiosity looking for what I wrote, I busted you doing it, and you're out of luck! It just ain't here no more, as they say. What was it? Nothing pornographic. Nothing too outrageous. Nothing false. No lies, just the plain truth delivered in the way that our readers know me, and especially the way my closest friends know me: candidly but with a bit of humorous writing thrown in. I am hardly the author to read if your skin is thin or if you suffer from an overdose of low self-esteem or some sort of repressed psychological issue from your childhood that enables you to turn a brick of kingsford into a diamond when...well, you can figure that out. But, one good thing from all of this, the blog has been viewed a zillion times more than usual. I think I counted a few hundred viewings of my own profile within a 24 or so hour period. WOW! That tells me another truth about humans: if someone tells us something is really really really bad, so bad it can't be read aloud, then what are they going to do? Leave it alone? Ha! Hardly. Let's go see what all the ruckus is about. So, in the end, instead of just using a bit of diplomacy and a kind request, the Christus Vincit blog became a celebrity, and I did too to some extent. I haven't ever seen that many folks interested in my Catholic University ball cap mugshot before! Ironically, after all this, even more folks read my humorous words than would have otherwise. Thanks readers for your kind words. What's more, many readers locally called me at home thanking me for voicing opinions that they didn't really want to bring up themselves, lest they burn eternally in the flames of Tartarus, removing sock lint from Satan's toenails with an incense spoon. But on the bright side, in th end, neither you nor I will be hurled headlong into the lake of fire and adamantine chains (thanks, John Milton). We will have shared a chuckle and laughed at ourselves and at those who are too proud to, or just too darned fake to do it themselves. I always liked Umberto Eco novels, especially Der Name der Rose -- the Name of the Rose, which I read in German years ago. There was a character in there name Jorge. He was an old codger monk, always solemn, warning that it is unchristian to laugh: Jesus never laughed, so neither should we. I can't imagine a world without laughter, without humor or levity. What a burden life would be. Let us keep in our prayers the Jorges we know. They don't need the chains Milton speaks of. They've made their Hell here on earth and wish that everyone's experience here should be just like theirs. Trouble is, they may just spend a longer time trying to feed ol' Cerberus a spelt cake than we ever will. Why? Well, for trying to make our own lives so darned miserable. So, it's time to relax and revisit my good Greek friend Herodotus. Nothing like visiting old friends. Warm, comfortable. He always makes me smile and think. You know, the old boy says the darnest things about the Ethiopeans and why they look the way they do. But that's a topic for another time, maybe even for another place. So let me relax in my wingback with my Oxford Press hard back and enjoy some great Ancient Greek, an old friend, and a very dry martini. Pax et bonum omnibus!

1 comment:

Brian Michael Page said...

Your mention of John Milton reminds me of this quote from my all-time favorite movie:

Don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible.....But that doesn't relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I'm waiting for reports from some of you... Listen, I'm not joking. This is my job! - Animal House

Had to - tee hee!