TRAFFIC COP + TRAFFIC LIGHT = COLOR BLIND

2012's FIRST WTF AWARD!!!

Is it me or are traffic cops THAT stupid? There was a tanker truck stuck at a traffic light (he had his four-ways on), so my wife and I took a turn at the junction before to go around. We come onto the junction where the truck was stuck, but the other way. Our light was green. Wouldn't you know the cop runs up the street, STOPS THE GREEN LIGHT TRAFFIC to let the tanker (who's light was red) through to take a left.  Our tax dollars at work!

I hereby award this cop the first WTF award of 2012!  He really earned this one!

Peace,

BMP

O CHRISTMAS TREE!

A Christus Vincit WTF Award Ceremony

Can you believe our frickin' nitwit governor wants to omit Christmas altogether in this year's State House tree-lighting ceremony???!!! Yeah, we're talking Rhode Island's Lincoln Chafee, a former Republican who turned Independent, the man who got in despite 65% of the voters voting against him (seven people ran; I voted for John Robitaille, a Republican, who came second). Chafee, son of the late great John Chafee who's probably rolling in his grave watching Linc's antics unravel, plans to call the Christmas tree a "holiday tree".

Now, just WTF is a holiday tree? And what holiday do we put this up for? Arbor Day? Valentine's Day (Look, honey, I got you a tree for Valentine's Day!)? Mother's Day (Look, mom, I grew this with my magic beans!)? How about Ides of March Day? That would be a hoot, wouldn't it?!

For cripes sakes, Governor, grow up! Your father would have never thought of these things when he was governor, or in the U.S. Senate. Who are you looking to suck up to? Certainly not the people of Rhode Island, the people you are supposed to be serving. Over 60% of Rhode Islanders are Catholic. They all celebrate Christmas. In fact, over 90% of the people in these great United States celebrate Christmas.

So, by the power invested in me, by me, and by the readers of this snarky little blog I write, I hereby award the (Dis)Honorable Lincoln Chafee, Governor of Rhode Island, the Christus Vincit WTF AWARD for December 2011. Oh, and um, Merry Christmas!

Incidentally, John DePetro of WPRO Radio (AM 630) is looking to start a flash mob to sing "O CHRISTMAS TREE" at the State House, 5:30 PM, Tuesday, December 6, the Feast Day of Saint Nicholas. If you're near the area, come join the mob!

Peace,
BMP

DOUBLE YOUR WTF FUN FOR JANUARY 2010

We're handing out TWO WTF AWARDS for this month...

1) Pat "I blame the people of Haiti for their earthquake because they signed a pact with the devil" Robertson. Who the sam hell gave this yahoo a doctorate???

AND

2) Martha "I don't think certain people should be doctors because they don't want to perform abortions" Coakley. I hope Scott Brown smokes her sorry ass for the dead Kennedy's senate seat. Electing her would be a death wish, not only for Massachusetts, but for this great nation, even worse than electing Barack Saddam Hussein Obama Bin Laden (which was bad enough!). It's too bad I don't live in Massachusetts (just the state next door).

Peace,
BMP

MY FIRST AWARD IN YEARS

Woooohoooo! Brian told me I did the 2300th posting. Yeeeehawl (you ahve to say that with a Texas drawl, of course, for full enjoyment).

Paul mentioned the school Mass situation she had experienced. For most Catholic schools this is a travesty.

At our local Cathedral, evidently the school kids (perhaps all the school "choirs" - a word I use lightly here) fill the loft, with the 90+ rank pipe organ. What do you think they have for accompaniment???????

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAARzzzzzzzzzzzz.

When my pastor told me this, I just went into my arrogant self-aggrandizing mode and said, "THEY can do that. WE will not! Our children will be accompanied by the organ, nothing else." Then suggested that we invite Bishop Rene Gracida, Bishop emeritus of the diocese, to come here for a special Mass. He and the emeritus are on good terms, and that suggestion may come to fruition. There are those who might think that the emeritus Bishop is arrogant, etc., but he does expect good music, support his priests, etc.

I for one, will look forward to such a celebration at our humble parish. We will have, as usual, excellent participation, excellent altar servers, excellent lectors, (hopefully by then) an excellent choir to sing something special (a choral work not by Haugan-Haas Ice Cream Co., the St. Louis Jesuits, the Daymeans, etc., but perhaps, Faure, Bach, Mozart, or Langlais, Dupre, etc.). We will have incense, high ritual celebrated with great dignity and respect for the Triune God who has created us and given us a wonderful Church, by the suffering of Jesus Christ. And we will have a great attendance, as well.

And of course, other local parishes and schools who have liberalism in all their program and liturgies, mush for thinking and ignorance of staff, trash as music, will all be strangely absent from the experience. Deo Gratias.

And, probably, Ad orientem !!!!!!!

I'll let you know - we'll video tape it and post it to the site!

SteveO

ANOTHER NUTCASE FROM NOTRE DAMNED

Fr. Richard McBrien's The Grieving Church was found in the National Catholic Distorter. Now, I've never posted on McBrien before, but after reading the article (RSCT to Fr. Z, who added his usual excellent commentary), I can't believe this guy's still a priest. But then, he's in good company with Fr. Jenkins, who himself is involved with a scandal of his own by his planning to issue the blatantly pro-abortion President of the United States with an honorary law degree.

Here's that article again, but with my snarky remarks.

I received an e-mail recently from a lay pastoral associate (watch out for those!), whose ministerial focus is on adult education and who possesses a graduate degree from a Catholic university. I have his permission to cite a portion of our exchange.

I have suppressed some of the details lest his pastor identify the source and seek to jeopardize the pastoral associate’s job (If the pastor was smart, he'd eliminate the pastoral associate's job altogether).

The e-mail came from a large suburban parish in which the pastor has apparently done everything that he can to remove most traces of the reforms initiated by the Second Vatican Council. (Watch what these so-called "reforms" are.)

The pastor has done away with all contemporary music at Mass (Where is this place? I'd be more than happy to worship there! I'm sure this pastor meant "all the garbage" that worships us, has us singing God or Christ in the first person, and set to music that would even make a deaf man cringe.), and has restored pre-conciliar devotions along with auricular confession. He even gives the impression that confession is the greatest of the sacraments. (I doubt that's the impression that he gives. More like, yes, the greatest of the sacraments is the Eucharist, but it can only be received if your sins have been absolved via confession.)

Perhaps there is some misunderstanding here because the Council of Trent, back in the 16th century, made clear that the greatest of the seven sacraments is the Eucharist.

Under the pastor’s control, the parish has no youth ministry, no parish council, nor any other consultative body. According to my correspondent, “consultative is not in his vocabulary.” He also gave vocal support to the minority of U.S. Catholic bishops who proclaimed in effect that “Catholics could burn in hell” if they voted Democratic in the recent presidential election. (See Father Z's comments.)

My correspondent reported that other members of the parish staff are hurting “terribly.” Indeed, they share the feelings of the woman who darted out of church recently during the homily – in tears. (Awwwww, the poor soul, actually getting taught the actual teachings of the Church. What's that song? "Ain't that a shame!")

She informed the pastoral associate that she could no longer handle the situation, and that she had to leave the parish. She said that all that she ever hears from the pulpit is what sinners the parishioners are, and why it is so necessary for them to “go to Confession.” (Of course. We're ALL sinners. It isn't our fault if this person's "shit doesn't stink".)

That particular Sunday, with the old-fashioned church music, all the statues covered in purple as they were before Vatican II, and the usual severe words in the homily, the pressure was simply too much for her to bear. (Oh, the pain!)

The woman poured out her frustrations, saying that the pastor had taken the parish back to a church that she knows nothing about (well it's about time she learns, eh?) and in a manner that showed no understanding of others’ feelings.

At the end of his first e-mail, my correspondent asked, “Are we expected just to get used to it?” (Watch this!)

In my reply, I wrote: “No, you are not simply to ‘get used to it’. Parishioners need to go elsewhere, like the woman who left Mass in tears.”

I continued: “If there are no parishes or other worshipping communities in the vicinity where the pastoral leadership is healthy rather than driven by a narrow ideology, then one simply has to ‘take a vacation’ from the church until the skies finally clear and we are bathed in sunlight once again.” (WTF? In all my years, and I'm mid 40's in age, I've always been taught by good and bad pastors and nuns alike that we must NEVER take a vacation from God.)

(I'll leave the rest of the article and commentary to Father Z. He's much better on the theological end than I am.)

Fr. McBrien is the Crowley-O’Brien professor of theology at the University of Notre Dame. (No shit! His boss is handing out a law degree to a pro-abortion president! The two nutcases deserve each other!)

Notice that this "pastoral associate" had to write McBrien, and not his bishop, probably in fear that his bishop might actually teach, like his pastor is doing.

Fr. McBrien is also the recipient of the May 2009 WTF Award.
Peace,
BMP

TODAY I GIVE OUT MY EASTER PRESENT EARLY

Yes, it's the April 2009 WTF AWARD!

This month, it goes to the faculty and staff of Brown University, who voted this week to change the name of Columbus Day to "Fall Weekend" on their calendars. They cited some crap about Columbus coming up north of the Caribbean and mistreating Indians. I don't ever remember reading anything like that in the history books, do you? Is this something a group of professors decided to invent recently? Or is this another attempt by Rhode Island's only Ivy League school (I use the word "school" loosely) to indoctrinate their students with their philosophical bull$&!+? (Ah yes, "philosophical bull$&!+", in lieu of an education, or better still, a very high-priced education!)

I'd give a WTF Award to the RI General Assembly, but I have a policy not to give the award to the same party(-ies) twice in a row. Oh screw it! I'll make an exception! During Holy Week, the legislative monkeys decided to put the following cards on the table: 1) the loophole in RI law that allows prostitution, as long as it's indoors and isn't the result of "human traficking", and 2) the ever-going gay marriage debate. In fact, one representative offered a bill that if the gay marriage debate does fail in favor of righteousness, that gay couples already married in other states can get divorced in RI.

Of course, this comes from a state where 60% of its population is Catholic. We Rhode Islanders shouldn't even be bothered with this kind of crap. But of course, the big argument is, Well, Iowa just okayed gay marriage, and our neighbors to the north and west (Massachusetts, home of Barney Frank, and Connecticut) are already doing it, and of course there's California. Who gives a rat's ass about these other states? I suppose if other states had legislators who jumped a bridge naked, some of our legislative monkeys would too! Don't these @$$&0!*$ ever consider actually LEADING instead of FOLLOWING? I find it hard to believe that many of these jerks were actually elected to their seats. (Of course, many seats in RI are often won with little or no opposition.)

Doesn't it seem funny that some of the most idiotic legislation happens during Holy Week? I'm beginning to wonder if many of our "lawmakers" are the Antichrist.

OK - so two WTF awards are given today. Congratulations, idiots!
Peace,
BMP

WTF AWARD FOR MARCH 2009

This month's WTF award goes to certain members of the state legislatures of Rhode Island and Connecticut.

Rhode Island
The latest huge debate in Rhode Island's state house is - get this - to get a centuries-old official name changed. Of all freakin' things to worry about, certain members of the state's General Assembly want to remove the word "plantations" from the name "State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations", all because they think that the word "plantations" is equivalent to a racial slur - a certain word that rhymes with "bigger". PUH-FREAKIN-LEEZE! I cannot believe that these are our elected officials. Yes, folks, these are the idiots that we Rhode Islanders (on the whole) voted in.
That debate is ongoing as I write this.

Connecticut
Our next door neighbors to the west, Connecticut has a couple of no-minded legislators who tried to pass a bill giving the state control over the Catholic Church in that state, and stripping priests and prelates of any and all rights. This is obviously a blatant attempt to keep the Church out of issues such as abortion and gay marriage.
Thankfully, due to a rally presented by Connecticut's Catholics, the bill was killed.

These are the people that get voted into office. Sickening, I say!
Peace,
BMP

CHRISTUS VINCIT SPORTS

MVP Edition

Congratulations to Dustin Pedroia, the first Red Sox player to win the American League Most Valuable Player award since 1995, and the first second baseman to win it since 1959! Well deserved!

Congratulations also to Albert Pujols of the Cardinals for winning the National League MVP for the second time!

Peace,
BMP

THIS WEEK'S WTF AWARD

Just when you think you've seen everything...

Rich can vouch for me. He heard the whole conversation. Buckle up folks!

A gentleman came upstairs to the choir loft just as the Extraordinary Form Mass was ready to start. Father rang the bell outside the sacristy - the signal to begin. So as I'm hastening to get to the organ console for the opening hymn, this guy kept babbling despite my giving him the one-minute finger (no, I didn't flip him the bird) about how this Mass was being offered for a recently-buried relative. He wanted to know (reminder: this was an Extraordinary Form Low Mass) if we could squeeze in Eagle's Wings. I had to get started, so I gave him a quick reply: "Not at this Mass," then I got the hymn going.

After we finished the hymn, Rich and I couldn't stop laughing for a good five minutes. I think we finally got our composures back just before the Gospel reading. A more fitting reaction that went through my head was similar to the scenario from the movie Animal House where the Delta pledges are being introduced on a slide show, and Flounder's face was the next slide. They all started laughing and jeering and tossing beer cans at the screen.

I'm sure this guy didn't know any better. But it was just enough to warrant my issuing of the September 2008 WTF Award! Congratulations!

UPDATE: Rich just posted his side of the story!

Peace,
BMP

CHRISTUS VINCIT SPORTS

WTF Awards Edition

Today I have a WTF award to give out, and it's in the field of sports. The recipient: the New Haven (Connecticut) Little League. Here's why.

What kind of league bans a nine-year-old kid from pitching just because he's good? Yeah, so he throws 40 MPH. SO FREAKIN' WHAT?! He hasn't hit a batter all year, and he's accurate! Yeah, so he's struck out your kid who can normally park a ball against most other pitchers. Instead of being wusses, toughen your players up and teach them to swing at faster pitches. Give them a good practice session at a batting cage. My daughter plays in a girls softball league where many of the girls, even at nine years old, can hit pitches that fast and more.

Teams have been forfeiting games anytime he pitches. WHY?! The kid himself feels it's his fault that others don't want to play. It's NOT his fault. You can't be faulted for excelling at your craft. That's just plain wrong.

Now - check out this political bull shit...

Jericho's coach and parents say the boy is being unfairly targeted because he turned down an invitation to join the defending league champion, which is sponsored by an employer of one of the league's administrators.

So, that's why? Is the "defending league chump" that afraid that this kid's going to upstage them with his pitching? Well boo-freakin'-hoo! Real champions will step up to the challenge.

So, congratulations to the New Haven Little League (not the kids, but the officials), recipients of the August 2008 WTF Award. Jerks!

Peace,
BMP

(PS: for those who aren't used to seeing me this harsh, I'm sorry, but being a father whose daughter is in sports, this really pisses me off!)

WE SNARKS HAVE BEEN OUTSNARKED

In the Cannonball Blog Awards, we were one of the nominees for the Snarkiest Catholic Blog. And yes, we've been outsnarked by the even-bigger snarks: the Catholic Cavemen.

We were tied with the Cannonball herself for second place in this category, with 25 votes each. The Cavemen scored 40 votes.

Congrats to the Cavemen for a job well done.

I don't take this "loss" as a total failure on our part. After all, they may be the better snarks. However, we're still the ORIGINAL snarks and will continue to snark the world for the rest of our snark lives!

Peace,
BMP

A NEW AWARD TO VOTE FOR

The Cannonball Catholic Blog Awards, intended for little people like us, has begun. We've only been nominated for one category, but it suits us fine - the Snarkiest Catholic Blog.

Go to the Crescat and cast your vote. All the ballots are on the sidebar.
Peace,
BMP

LOUSY SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT

Yup - this is for our nomination for the Snarkiest Blog Award at The Crescat.

I shall add this to our Trophy Room as well.

Peace,
BMP

THE CRESCAT'S OWN AWARDS

And we snarks have been nominated for Best Snark Blog! WOOHOO!

Sequel to this post.

Click here and go to the combox to nominate. No voting yet - just nominations.

Peace,
BMP

ADDITIONS TO THE CHRISTUS VINCIT TROPHY ROOM

Click here and scroll to see our 2008 Catholic Blog Awards Nominee Buttons!
Peace,
BMP

HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OF LOSING

The Crescat, like us, didn't win on the Catholic Blog Awards this (or any other) year. So, she creatively made the best of it by creating her own categories for nomination.

So, in the same good humor, I came up with some that would suit Christus Vincit quite well:

Best Snark Blog
Best Blog by a Snark Team
Best Blog by a pair of sacked music directors (Jason in January, yours truly in November)
Best Blog with offices in the North AND South (Rhode Island and Louisiana)
Best Blog in the same network as an equally snarky podcast
Blog most likely to piss off some NaPalM top brass
Blog most likely to scare away the Poncho Ladies™
Best Blog protected by a Catholic K9 (remember Canis?)



Jason, if you can think of any more, feel free to edit this post. Anyone else, feel free to make use our combox.

Peace,
BMP

THE 2008 CATHOLIC BLOG AWARDS RESULTS ARE IN

Best Designed Catholic Blog: one vote (same as last year)
winner, and still champeen: The New Liturgical Movement

Best Group Blog: eight votes (same as last year)
winner: The New Liturgical Movement

Best Overall Catholic Blog: two votes (down one from last year)
winner: Father Z

Best Political/Social Commentary: a whole vote (down two from last year)
winner: American Papist

Best Written Catholic Blog: another whole vote (also down two from last year)
winner: Father Z

Funniest Catholic Blog: three votes (half of last year's count)
winner, and still champeen: The Curt Jester

Most Informative and Insightful Catholic Blog: two votes (first time in category)
winner: Father Z

Smartest Catholic Blog: three votes (UP one from last year, WOOHOO!)
winner: Father Z

Thank you to all who voted.
Peace,
Your Christus Vincit Snark Team

WE'RE CHECKING UP ON YOU

Have you cast your vote yet?

SUMUS BRIANNUS MICHAEL PAGINA ET JASON ALEXANDER PENNINGTON,
ET HOC SCRIPTUM APPROBAMUS!
(We're Brian Michael Page and Jason Alexander Pennington,
and we approve this message!)


After Noon CST today (1 PM here on the east coast), the voting for the 2008 Catholic Blog Awards will close. If you haven't voted yet, please take the liberty of doing so. Christus Vincit has been nominated in a few different categories. I can't exactly remember which ones. Most have the name "Christus Vincit", and a couple have the name "Christus Vincit - the BLOG!" As you probably know, they're both us.
We may not be able to offer our voters a coffee (or a beer or a martini), but we can offer you our continued snarky service as a blog - swift snarky missives on liturgy, music, and fun, when one least expects. So, please, cast your vote today, and help us fill up our trophy room!

Thank you for your support!
Peace,
Your Christus Vincit Snark Team

IN AN EFFORT TO REFURBISH OUR SIDEBAR...

All our awards have been stored in our brand new TROPHY ROOM. Check out the digs and make yourself at home. Please, no smoking.

Now we just need some wood panels, a fireplace, and a moose head, and it'll be perfect.

The link to the trophy room will be kept on our sidebar for your visiting adventure.

Peace,
BMP

COMING SOON!

The 2008 Catholic Blog Awards

Nominations begin February 15, 2008. www.catholicblogawards.com

Peace,
BMP