Those who have a hard copy version of the Adoremus Bulletin get something you can only find on the hard copy version, and that is the Letters to the Editor. After reading one letter titled Posture During the "Our Father", I felt the need to improve a good product.
INTRODUCING the NEW DELUXE edition of the Our Father Holding Hand, with new improved gadgetry. You can now stifle your oppressors not only with the standard joke buzzer and fake hand, but with insertable splinters, a bracelet that indicates you have bird flu (Jason mentioned an "I have bird flu" t-shirt via comment when I introduced the original product), and a rub-on fake rash.
Pick up the new deluxe edition of the Our Father Holding Hand, and in no time, your oppressors will stop pestering you - QUICKLY!
UPDATE: If all else fails, consider the origin of hand-holding during prayer --- yup, AA meetings. So, if push really comes to shove and someone wants to hold your hand during the Lord's Prayer, simply tell them, "Sorry, I don't drink."