Friday, August 22, 2008


RSCT to our NLM friend Jeffrey Tucker.

Pastoral Music, the official cat box liner of NaPalM, is promoting liturgical ensembles in the mag's most recent issue. Of course, here is their idea of liturgical ensembles:

The cover has a flute player in a jeans jacket playing next to two cellists in front of a youth choir. Page 14 has a guitar player with a conga player. Page 17 has two guitar players and a conga player. Page 18 features a guitar player. Page 22 has three bongo players. Page 24 has two flute players with a recorder player in front of a youth choir. Page 26 has a cellist and a violinist. Page 27 has a string bass player plucking his instrument. Page 28 has two guitar players with singers crowded around microphones. Page 31 has a pianist with a clarinetist, two flute players, a violist, and a trumpet player. Page 33 shows another flute player. Page 34 has two guitar players. Page 38 has two guitar players with a recorder player and two singers. Page 52 has a cantor in the "touchdown" position.

I think the "touchdown position" line is hilarious. I'm LMAO here!

OK, where the hell is the organ with any of this? Yeah, I'm talking about the "king of instruments", the instrument that the Second Vatican Council stated very clearly is "to be held in high esteem", doncha know?

Also in said issue are "excerpts" from Pope Pius XII's document Mediator Dei. I haven't seen the article, but Jeffrey mentions that the excerpts selected were agenda driven. Why am I NOT surprised? After all, this is NaPalM that we're talking about here.

Jeffrey writes:
But this sort of editorial manipulation really has no place in materials that are distributed with the stated goal of helping Church musicians do what the Church intends.

You and I both know that. I'm sure they do too. But do they care? Nah! People on their message boards will simply refer to Vatican authority figures as "clueless". I was on the boards from 1998 to 2006 (with a brief boot in late 2003-mid 2004). I've seen these things happen.

Kudos to Mr. Tucker for yet another excellent take!


Chris C. said...

Shouldn't that be the "field goal" position? Or is the cantor kneeling in the end zone, I mean sanctuary, with one finger pointed at the sky?

I hope the photo of the jean-jacket guy was not from Mass.

Brian Michael Page said...

Actually, that could be the "field goal" position if the cantor is the football. After all, for the cantor to be in "touchdown" position, there would have to be liturgical dancers posing as the rest of the offensive line doing their post-touchdown jig.