Sunday, July 2, 2006

Colloquium Locutions

Our friend Tyler Mitchell from the Liturgy Forum and I both attended the recent sacred music colloquium in Washington, D.C. A full report of the event will follow shortly, but in the meantime, here is a list we compiled of a few random quotes that flew into the air and tickled our ears and rather dry senses of humor/humour. Since much of the quote depends on the context, I'll try to provide as much as possible in italics.

Altos trying to take control of what's rehearsed? "I'M running this rehearsal, yes?"
Sopranos flat? "There is only ONE fifth in this scale."
Rehearsed a phrase five times, and the sopranos still get it wrong? "Short-term memory loss: sign of Alzheimer's."
Stupid liturgist in your parish who hates polyphony? "According to the Liturgical Rainbow Coalition, this music makes the Mass too long. However, the Gloria to the Mass of Cremation is twice as long as the Rheinberger Gloria."
Altos flat then correcting the held note? "Whoever seeks shall find."
Sopranos singing without thinking? "Make sure the light is on in your head."
Sopranos clueless? "Eight sopranos don't realize there is a back page to the Ave Verum. Please turn to page 4 after page 3. It's the second ending."
Choir trying to sing a new vocalise during the demonstration? "How can you sing something you haven't even heard yet?"
Tenor disgruntled about that high A: "Man, that tenor line is high! Anything higher and we're gonna have to use pliers."
Oh, thou schola, pretty please? "Will you let me slow you down there?"
Don't hijack their part! "Sopranos, you're singing the tenor line. The tenors are seductive, yes? But we just can't have that in church."


Fr. Jeffrey Keyes, C.PP.S. said...

Thanks for the memories. Excellent summary of a wonderful and wonderfully entertaining conductor.

Brian Michael Page said...

Way cool. Was that Tyler from RIPnet, btw?
I like especially the line about "Mass of Cremation". LMAO


Anonymous said...

Yeah, the MOC Gloria comment was great. Seriously - it gives me more of an appreciation of through-composed Glorias. The last one I had to learn (Jubilation Mass Gloria) was just too much. Honestly, does it take 9 pages to get it across? (rolling eyes to the ceiling)

Jason Pennington said...

Father Keyes! Great to see you visit the Christus Vincit blog! Indeed fond memories of an excellent week of study with an fabulous conductor.

Brian, yes, Tyler is THE Tyler from the Ripnet...the one who gave you a piece of cyber birthday cake. Also, we know where the good "dirty dirty" martinis are in D.C. We discovered a great watering hole while in town, where Grey Goose is CHEAPER than Absolute....who would have thought there would be some strange hidden universe where such a thing could be true...(hint: they also had great charbroiled octopus as well as really really tasy mousaka plaka)...HA!

Anonymous said...

"Eight sopranos don't realize there is a back page to the Ave Verum. Please turn to page 4 after page 3. It's the second ending."
This tells me you were doing the Byrd, yes? Deo Gratias.
Your mini-review sounds, ahem, interesting, Jason. Did Fr. Keyes tell you that long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, we were young bucks together earnestly foisting our earnest operas upon the pholks thirsting for something beyond the SLJ/Dameans/Ray Repp mileau?
Speaking of the restoration of the sacred, best way to get chant back into the parish (save my efforts in the parochial school): daily Mass. On certain days I get a few guys who've formed their own little amateur (in the true sense) schola and we'll actually chant the propers! Heaven, I'm in heaven....

Anonymous said...

Oh, PS for Jeff Keyes:
Someone anonymously dropped off a pristine album copy of Don Osuna's THOSE WHO SEE LIGHT LP from 1971 for me at the office! All those pictures of Don, John McDonnell, the, what a head rush!~

Jason Pennington said...

Indeed, yes. That was the Byrd. Not my favorite Ave Verum in the universe, but not half bad...HA! In my opinion, Dupre's setting of the text leaves all others in the dust, with Elgar's trodding a close second. Small world, Charles! The interconnectedness of our little band is always astounding! Hopefully next year we might see your pink seersucker gracing the imposing walls of CUA? This would most certainly a treat -- one worthy of a Dirty Dirty Martini at Yanni's Greek Lounge in Cleveland Park ("Just a few yards from the Metro"). Nothing like a good martini and an evening of compound-complex sentences....HA!

PhiMuAlpha2681 said...

Although at AGO last week, we heard the Colin Mawby "Ave Verum" which IMO is just stunning. A cappella and modern lush harmonies ala Lauridsen, et al.