Friday, March 21, 2008


From the desk of Catholic Blog Awards 2008 Overall Champeen (and deservedly so), Father Z, who has the perfect solution to anger... FUN!

Two great parodies on the Mandatum - one that teaches the good, and the other that goofs on the bad. Both are written by the "official WDTPRS parodohymnologist", Tim Ferguson. The first is set to the tune of "Don't sit under the apple tree".

Don’t go washing those women’s feet; the Latin is plain to me:
“selecti” should be “viri.” The rubrics are clear you see. No, no, no,
Don’t go washing those women’s feet at Thursday night’s liturgy,
Thus says the Pope of Rome.

Don’t go altering rubrics now, no matter who you may be,
Or where you got your degree in Scripture and Liturgy. No, no, no,
Don’t go altering rubrics now, this calls for humility:
You’re not the Pope of Rome.

I just got word that Ranjith has heard,
‘n put the Vicar in a jam,
Seems some priest here, washing feet last year,
Scrubbed a nylon-covered gam.
So, don’t go washing those women’s feet at Thursday night’s liturgy,
Or feel the wrath of Rome.

The second is set to the tune of "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" (from "Fiddler on the Roof", though the first time I heard it was on "Mrs. Doubtfire")

Yenta: Modernist Liturgist, Please wash my feet,
I’m not wearing sox, And I’ll be discrete,
Inculturate the American Way,
And please wash my feet Thursday….

Fr. Lovebeads: I am the Liturgist, Take off your shoes!
Women and men, There’s no need to choose!
“Viri selecti,” is just not too clear,
I’ll wash all your feet this year…

Fr. Lovebeads: For me now, It signals inclusion!

Yenta: For me now, It’s my chance to shine!

Congregation: For us, well, It doesn’t matter,
As long as we’re leaving for home by nine!

Congregaton: Modernist Liturgist, Give us a break!
Follow the red words For pity’s sake.
Mass after Mass we feel under attack,
Please, just say the words in black!


1 comment:

Jason Pennington said...

LMAO @ viri selecti!! Of course in the classical sense, this could also mean "chosen heroes", which reminds me of the Bonny Tyler song from the 1980's. I'm picturing a nelly padre in a purple fiddle back standing in the pulpit with a mic screaming to his congregation, "I need a hero!" Here are my top viri picks:

1. Hercules
2. Odysseus
3. Aeneas
4. Perseus
5. Theseus
6. Achilles
7. Hector
8. Priamus
9. Patroclus

Regarding my #12 pick, someone has to play Judas. If Paris turns up with the sniffles right before show time, I'd pick Lesbia, Catullus' girlfriend. She could dress in a toga and change her name ending from -a to -us. All that crying over that dead sparrow furrowed her face enough that she can pass as a man. LOL. I'm not even going mention that embarassing Clodia thing....(read your Cicero!)

If Lesbia can't make it, I'm sure the padre would much prefer Priapus (that is, if Gerhard Mueller is his bishop).