Friday, February 22, 2008


Getting back in shape the BMP way

Went tenpin bowling last night. Yeah, the big balls, normal bowling to most of you (in many states, the ONLY bowling there is). I say that because here there are still a few duckpin houses left (not as many as in my youth). I am a big fan of candlepin bowling, which I've posted a couple of videos of in the past. However, the nearest candlepin house is a good 30-40 minute drive into Franklin, MA.

So, last night we (son Brian, daughter Brittany, wife Ann, yours truly) went to one of the tenpin houses that my son Chris works at. First time bowling with the big balls in about three years (with the exception of one tourney I bowled with Chris). My last average (as of 2004-2005) wasn't all that hot by a real bowler's standards - it was 142 (Chris, like I mentioned before, is near-PBA; he averages over a deuce in all his leagues but one). So, the first game, I was rusty to the point where I made a total jackass of myself - 89. Second game, I got better. Fifth box I finally threw my first strike (actually a double in the fifth/sixth). Finished with a 126. Finally, I got hot (by my own standards, tee hee) - a 160. So, I managed a 375 series, a score that can win you some games... well, in candlepins. But I'll take it.

Now, one must remember my duckpin/candlepin roots here when watching me bowl. I don't do those fancy "hooks" when I bowl tenpins like the pros do. I just fire a straightball like a candlepin pro would. When I do get strikes, they are LOUD. It's like opening the "sforzando" or "tutti" piston/toe stud on an organ of fifty or more ranks. They're so loud that Chris could be at the other end of the lanes saying "uh oh, my dad's here!"

Also, when I do get a double strike, I start taking bets whether or not I'm going to get a "turkey" or a "chicken". (Refer here for the definitions of both, plus that new term for a four-bagger that some ESPN scholar invented, the "hambone".) Well, I couldn't hunt down a turkey; did get three chickens, and it's been a few years since my last "hambone".

I may be doing this more often to get myself back in shape. Since Ann and I quit smoking two years ago, I've put on a good fifty pounds (that's nearly four stone for you UK readers out there). So, I think I've finally put on an exercise plan for myself.



Adrienne said...

Bowling drives me crazy. Too much time just sitting around waiting for your turn. Same for golf. When you have ADD, not being engaged at all times falls into the category of "crazy making."

Now tennis is a different story (not doubles). In control and moving all the time.

Congrats on the smoking. We're struggling with that issue.

Brian Michael Page said...

Golf's another story for me. I can do mini golf ok. As for real golf, my hero isn't Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, or even Tiger Woods. NO - my golf hero is none other than Happy Gilmore, the beloved hockey player-turned-golfer portrayed by Adam Sandler. It's great the way he drummed up a lot of noise when he teed off. He gave golf a whole new attitude for that time.


Mr. C said...

Be careful, young man.
I was a pretty durn good bowler who took up the Dick Weber style in my pre-teens, early 60's: basically straight ball with a slight curve from the right arrow. Averaged in the 190's league play. Me and the wife won a couple of league years in KofC and when I worked in retail early in the marriage.
Cut to 25 years later, take up the game again 'cause of the grandkids. Go out with them once a week during the summer, that fall notice left knee hurting, can't kneel at Mass without excruciation (pun alert.) First orthopedic (knee) surgery and rehab. That's when you know yer an old fart.
Cut to last Sunday. Son in law has a Nintendo Wii setup. Kewl. Grampa HAS TO try virtual bowling. Can't possibly hurt anything. Roll two games and darn if something didn't feel torqued on said knee.
Next time, gonna do wheelchair virtual bowling. Geezerhood, it's not for kids.

Brian Michael Page said...

Haven't tried the Wii thingie yet. I have a game called "Ten Pin Alley" for PS2 that can be hilarious if you're not careful (yeah, misfiring can be comically catastrophic - now THERE's an adverb/adjective combination if there ever was one - "comically catastrophic").

As for real bowling, OK Charles, you could probably still smoke me. Besides, I've NEVER broken a deuce for a single game (my high is 193, did it twice), nor have I ever broken a fin for a three-game set (my high is 497 - did it once in high school).


Brian Michael Page said...

On the other hand, Charles, Chris (my son - he's 22) could probably smoke you. :-)