Meet Canis the Catholic K9. Canis will guard your neighborhood parish from any and all liturgical abuses, including (but not limited to):
1. Kool Aid Pitchers
2. Hootenanny Music
3. Liturgical Dance
4. Inclusive Language
5. Preaching by the Laity
and many many others!
As you can see by the glow in his teeth, Canis will be more than happy to assist you in keeping your liturgy within the teachings of the Catholic Church. All you have to do is ring the Sanctus Bell a certain way (usually in the manner of a dinner bell works fine with Canis), and Canis will answer in a flash, even from hundreds of miles away! His sharp teeth will "take a bite out of liturgical abuse"!
BTW, "Canis" is Latin for "Dog".