Monday, June 5, 2006

CELEBRANT? PRESIDER? GAME SHOW HOST?

You be the judge. Bop on over to Gerald's Closed Cafeteria Forum, click on the "Liturgy" category, then go to the topic asking what you refer to the priest saying Mass as.

While there, you get the choice of "Celebrant", "Presider", and "Other". Obviously I picked the term "Celebrant", the term I grew up with since I made my First Communion in first grade 35 years ago.

First, let me note that the GIRM uses the term "priest", usually assuming that it is the "priest" that is celebrating Mass. Well, I HOPE it's the priest. I'd hate to have the "pastoral assistant" saying Mass, or the sexton (what term will come of that next: Worship space maintainance minister???). But anyhoo, I think of the "celebrant" as the priest that CELEBRATES Mass with us. He prays with us. "Presider", on the other hand, reminds me of a couple of things - one involves bringing a gavel to the altar, or to the pulpit; the other being those pictures of Cardinal Mahony sitting back on his Cathedra (read: throne) and enjoying the sight of the Parochial Panzies Liturgical Dance Troupe tearing up the sanctuary with their less than graceful steps. Another class of priests saying Mass could be, if they're not careful, that is, "game show hosts". Some even "talk show hosts", or even "last comic standing".

Let's think of this now - the progressive folk that gave us the term "presider" are the same bozos that gave us the terms "presentation song", "sending forth song", "gathering song", "worship space", "gathering space", "gathering RITE" - now that's a new one: Gathering RITE??? What the hell is a "gathering RITE"??? Marty Haugen has a new piece now, the Shepherd Me O God Gathering Rite. HUH??? There's no such thing as a "Gathering Rite". What? Arriving at church five minutes late and plopping my chronologically-challenged gluteus maximus down into the pew is a "rite"??? Since when??? You know what that makes me think of? My wife's Yahoo Messenger. Yeah, every now and then she has to endure this one friend of hers who enters with a sound file that yells out: IT'S OK NOW, I'M HERE! There's your "Gathering Rite". HA HA HA!

PRIEST OF GOD: SAY THIS MASS AS IF IT WERE YOUR FIRST MASS, YOUR LAST MASS, YOUR ONLY MASS!

That would tell me, let's make it good! Be the CELEBRANT!

Peace,
BMP

3 comments:

Alabama said...

hahahahahahaha, very well said and amen! I'm with ya.

PhiMuAlpha2681 said...

Bri,

Unfortunately the Haugen Shepherd Me Gathering thingy isn't new. I had to play it in college. (TPTB decided to use that all during Lent one year. I was just a supply organist there.) So it's at least 4-5 years old. Not that it makes it any better, mind you. :-)

And if you read carefully, the GIRM uses not just "priest" but "priest celebrant".

~nb

Brian Michael Page said...

At least it doesn't use "presider" (thank God).
As for the Haugen, leave it to a fifth rate songwriter like him to try to re-write the Mass.
BMP