Thursday, March 30, 2006
THE MASS IS RATED - DISCRETION MAY BE ADVISED
The Curt Jester has invented a cool way for you to decide which Mass you will want to attend, and at which parish. Mass can now be just as fun as going to the movies - maybe. And attending the RIGHT Mass may result in far more blessings than attending the wrong Mass.
Here is the rating system, as described by Jeff Miller, the "jester" himself:
G -- Genuflect Audiences
TL- Tridentine Latin
LV- Missa Normativa Latin/Vernacular (probably Latin or "hybrid", like on EWTN)
V -- Missa Normativa Vernacular
PG- Progressive Audiences (pictured above)
H -- Heretical
S -- Schismatic
There are the TV-like ratings too. (Like those TV-Y, TV-14, etc.)
R -- Reverential
I -- Ill-reverential
D -- Dialog (when the word "Dialog" is used more than ten times in a homily)
T -- Bad theological situations
H -- Hand Holding (Our Father) I have a solution for that!
O -- Rubrics optional
C -- Gregorian chant
Y8- No hymns published before 1980
F -- Feminist inclusive language situations
The post is old (February 2005), but I just stumbled on it today and found it hilarious. Typical Curt Jester style!
Next thing to happen would be the old "drive-in intermission" after the homily, where someone announces the coffee hour in the snack bar downstairs in a 1950's commercial tone of voice!